I’ve had my questions about her, before. Like, 2 years ago.
And then, yesterday…
Boy Child, Age 6: “Hey, Grandma, did you know that when money wears out, they destroy it?”
Grandma: “Yes, I did. And did you know that 90% of the money in the world has traces of cocaine on it?”
(Stunned look from me)
Grandma: (shrugs) “What? It’s the truth.”
Praying to Darwin 
Life is full of questions, the majority of which have no answers.
Not easy ones, anyway.
Wow Grandma… so what’s on the other 10%?
Ned A. Anser
Good solid Christian values. Duh.
Gotta love a woman who tells it like it is! Great story.
She’s getting extremely honest. And more than a little graphic, truth be told.
Grandma is using her experience and wisdom to let you monitor the boy’s attitudes about drugs through the years by whether (a) he develops a phobia about money and starts wearing gloves to the store, or (b) you find him chopping up dollar bills in the bathroom.
You’ve really thought this one out, Chris. Kudos.
I have to correct Grandma.
90% of the notes in the US has…
Us Europeans prefer to indulge from the thigh of a Parisian hooker.
Grandma never considers the Parisian hooker. It’s her Achilles heel.
Not helpful.
And it sounds like what my dad would say.
No, not helpful. I’m still kind of amazed he didn’t ask what cocaine is, though.
Grandmas exist to make you practice your parenting skills. Otherwise life would be too easy.
I read somewhere that they test how much cocaine is used in a country by sampling river water and then they extrapolate to how much was in the sewage and back from there. Also ew. Not sure it’s true.
I wonder if the “dottiness” is an act, or a deliberate form of payback, for something her son did.
That doesn’t surprise me. I find most Grandma’s can no longer hear that little voice inside their heads that tells them not to say inappropriate things. It’s like internal deafness or something.
What? Oh. Yes. I am a grandma.
Well, ride the wave, then, Sue. Sounds like fun.
Looks like it’s time to take up that old habit of snortin’ fiddies.
When I read this the first time, I thought you said “fiddles”. And I thought to myself, “There really is no end to Rassles’ oddness.”.
I reserve the right to actually think that in the future.
Is true. And rassles, I don’t think you snort fiddies. I think you snort things through fiddies. Although I always opted for tens because I didn’t have fiddies and that was a long time ago. So, I could be wrong.
Your wisdom benefits us all, Free Man.
I wonder how many people will read this and sniff their money.
But I won’t. The Massachusetts Department of Public Health did a study in which they found that money was dirtier than the toilet in a public bathroom.
I used to have a job that required handling a lot of cash. And the hardest thing I had to do was train myself not to wet my fingertips with my tongue when I was sorting bills. Ewwww.
I love your grandmother. Mine just threatens to hit you.
Whoops, Em, not my grandmother, my kids’ grandmother.
That’s a lot of blow. I mean dough.
They’re both right. Unlike grandma’s filter, which is starting to go.