I Know

I live with the world’s smartest woman.


She’s 6.


Have I had her tested, and been told she has a shockingly high IQ?  No.

Has she shown exceptional skill or prodigious talent in some area?  Not as of yet.

Does she run about, smugly solving adult problems, a la Nancy Drew?  Nope.




No matter the topic, or the point at which she joins the conversation, or the people she’s talking to, she will respond the same way:


“I know.”


Even if she has just asked you a question, and you’ve given an answer, her ultimate response is, “I know.”


“Mom, how tall are you?”

“Five ten.”

“I know.


“Six plus two is seven.”

“Um, no sweetie, it’s eight.”

“No it’s not.”

“Yes it is.”

“I know.”


(We’ve contemplated getting her a t-shirt with “I know.” printed on it.  To save time, primarily, but also it would just be kind of a cool, enigmatic saying, right?)


I like the kid’s moxie, her mojo, her self confidence.


But dear sweet jesus her lack of self doubt when confronted with logic drives me batshit crazy.


And no one will ever capture it with as much eloquence as Louis C.K.   Enjoy!



7 responses to “I Know

  1. I think I’ve had that exact same argument. Only my kids are older, so I actually did swear & berate them.
    And? “Shit like that clanging sound in your head.” That’s today’s winner, for sure.

  2. Oh how familiar!!!!

  3. Oh thank GOD! I thought my 5 year old was the only kid who knew everything, even the stuff that is wrong! We had an argument the other day over whether or not the word “queen” starts with a K. She insisted it DID.

  4. Love this! My son is like this when it comes to building stuff. Like “I know how to do it! I KNOW how to DO it!!!… ummm… how do you do it?”

  5. I don’t have children, but I DO know everything, and I have for years. Your daughter and I must be kin.

  6. You have reminded me that I used to do this when I was a little girl. How embarrassing.

    I think it’s the equivalent of a tic, or expressing the experience of having learned something new RIGHT NOW AT THIS VERY MOMENT.

  7. Hilarious! And thanks for sharing the comedy skit – I laughed out loud. BTW, it doesn’t get better….. my 9YO is still a pain in the ass. He will ask for help with homework and when I stop what I’m doing (usually something important like surfing the web) to go sit with him at the table he says, “I KNOW how to do it!” The little monster just wants me to WATCH him do it, and I fall for it every time.

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