Day 5 – A Song That Reminds You of Someone
Without You – Motley Crue
It’s the spring of Grade 11 and I am heartbroken.
In the past year, my best friend’s boyfriend had turned into my 2nd best friend’s boyfriend, and the whole damn time he was calling me every night and writing letters that made me blush. But we were just Friends, because that’s exactly what we both wanted to be was just Friends.
We are at a dance, biggest dance of the whole year. People from surrounding towns pour into our little village, and no one cares that we’re minors and they’re serving the hell out of us.
The boy in question and I have reached a particularly contentious point in this crazy little arrangement we’ve got going on. Things can’t stay this way.
We take it outside. There’s a 2nd party going on outside the hall, where everyone ends up eventually. We stake out a corner of this ersatz outdoor lounge, and we start yelling. His friend gets in between us, tries to lighten the mood, break this shit up. I tell him to go fuck himself and resume yelling.
Teen angst. It can make a girl yell loudly and publicly and not give a shit who hears or what they’ll think of her at school on Monday.
And that same teen angst propels me to set up the perfect melodramatic moment, whereby I take this boy (whom I’ve just stated I NEVER WANT TO SEE AGAIN) by the hand, and lead him back into the hall, and we have one last, perfectly, sublimely miserable slow dance to Motley Crue’s “Without You”.
(I did talk to him again. I drunkenly yelled at him at one more party. I had one awkward phone conversation with him on the spring break of his first year away at university. And he found me on the book of faces years and years later and said he felt terrible about the whole thing, and confirmed what had been my worst fear back then, that if I’d just put myself in the game, made myself a contender, I would have won, hands down.)
(And the boy who got in between us? Who came over all stoned out of his tree and said “You can’t yell at my buddy! This guy took a bullet for me in ‘nam!”? And then I got to say “Chad, go fuck yourself”? He went on to do just fine. And there’s a part of me that giggles every time I think to myself how many people around the world wish they’d had the chance to say what I got to say.)