Dear Courtney Cox, I’m Sorry I Wrecked Your Life

It started innocently enough.

 

I was having a conversation about wedding rings, and inscriptions.  And I ever-so-harmlessly, with absolutely NO malice aforethought said, “You know who has a cool inscription in their wedding rings?  Courtney Cox & David Arquette”

 

 

“Inside their rings, it says ‘A deal is a deal’.  Isn’t that the coolest thing EVER?”

 

And then, not two hours later, I’m surfing the internet, and THERE IT IS:

 

Courteney Cox and David Arquette Separate

By Mike Fleeman

Monday October 11, 2010 06:35 PM EDT

Courteney Cox and David Arquette Separate | Courteney Cox, David Arquette

Courteney Cox and David Arquette

Matt Baron/BEImages

After 11 years of marriage, Courteney Cox and David Arquette acknowledge they’ve hit more than a few rough patches.

Now the Hollywood pair, who are parents to 6-year-old daughter Coco, have “agreed to a trial separation that dates back for some time,” they say in a statement.

 

Oh sure, they can say it “dates back for some time”.

 

But I know.

 

I did this.

 

Because that is my super-power, apparently.

 

I CAN INVOKE BAD SHIT, JUST BY NOTICING HOW AWESOME SOMETHING IS.

 

 

 

(Better not impress me, because then I’ll talk about it, and….it won’t end well.  You’ve been warned.)

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16 responses to “Dear Courtney Cox, I’m Sorry I Wrecked Your Life

  1. ummm….. you should know that my sex life is rotten. really awful at the moment. SOOOOOOOOO not awesome. honest. nothing awesome going on here…. hey, look at that! Courtney Love, sending nekkid tweets! THAT’S AWESOME!

  2. This seems like the forum to finally admit that . . . I KILLED MOTHER TERESA!! I was commenting once about how cool it was that she was still alive and kicking and helping people, and then . . . BLAM!

    [gentle sobbing]

  3. So I guess a deal is a deal only until it’s too hard. That’s what my rings say:)

    Every time I write something about how awesome my husband is, I feel like I am tempting the universe to reveal to me that he is a serial killer, or at least kicks dogs or something. Remember when Kim Catrell from Sex in the City wrote a book about happy marriage/sex life with her huz and then split right after it released.

    It’s not on our rings but my huz and I promised to each other that we won’t give up without a fight. We committed to at least a year of therapy before we’d split. I think that is the hardest thing to do when a marriage is falling apart, fight for it.

    The other day we were talking about two friends of ours in a very acrimonious divorce, fighting over money etc. My husband said, you know if we get divorced, I will just give you it all, the house, everything, I wouldn’t want you to worry about where you are going to be. And I told him, fine, if you do that, you can still come over and %#@& me, you just have to go home and mess up your own house afterward. I hope this is a sign we are going to stay together.

  4. I wish I could convince you how awesome my boss is so that you could take notice of that for me. ;) He’s REALLY impressive and oh-so-awesome. Really.

    We’re still rooting for Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick to stay married. No degrees of separation, please!

  5. Damn, that is a cool inscription! Definitely can’t steal it now though.

    Also, please don’t notice how awesome Ozzy and Sharon are! They are my favourite, and if they split I would be sad.

  6. Poor Dave is just a big kid and Courteney wants him to grow up. eff her. the world needs big kids. Glad to have you back too Miss Ginny, there’s a nice backlog over at the lounge for you just don’t give me any praise or compliments, the writing is shitty enough as it is, though maybe you could say, that damn Kono sure does love his drugs and then i’d get like an allergy or something to them… wait don’t do that.

  7. I’m so pissed at you. I really liked them as a couple. Bummer.

  8. LOL DAMN you!!!
    haha
    so funny I just told my guy “I know they are done you can just tell!”

  9. Should I be really worried about your sweet tweet, then? ;)

    Yeah, news of this broke on our anniversary. I always find it sad when a couple crash, especially so a couple that seemed to be beating the astronomically bad odds that exist in Hollywood.

  10. I have kind of a funny story that is pseudo-relevant. I was joking with one of the waitresses at the restaurant where I work about “Airplane!”. We had some wannabe-gangsta kids come in who seemed incapable of communicating in the manner our society has agreed upon. The waitress was standing at the table trying to figure out what these little rapscallions wanted, and as I walked by I whispered “Oh, stewardess… I speak Jive.” We had a good laugh about it.

    Two days later, Barbara Billingsley – the actress who played the helpful bilingual passenger (to say nothing of June Cleaver) – died.

    The waitress and I have agreed to start joking about Miley Cyrus.

  11. Wait, a Hollywood marriage is ending? Now I’ve seen it all.

  12. Honestly, I don’t think it was you. I think she finally watched their wedding video and realized how ridiculously stupid he looked wearing those gray spats.
    ;)

  13. Did I speak too soon? I don’t seen any comments from you here. :| Dang it. Is that my super power? Taking note of your return only to find you MIA again. :( Double dang it.

  14. It’s interesting to ponder on how our destinies are intertwined, but after the briefest period of noting connected causes and effects, the cascade of causality becomes effectively infinite. The butterfly effect.

    That’s a pretty awesome superpower Ginny. Beware you don’t focus it back on itself. Who knows what might happen.

    Oh, and you wrecked David’s life, not Courteney’s. She’s gonna be fine.

  15. Okay, I did not want to post that link. Now I feel bad. Could you delete that comment? Or edit the link?

  16. How I found out about the Cox/Arquette split: I was innocently surfing the web, when I saw a picture of the pair, and I thought “Wow, they’re still together? That’s pretty cool.” Then my eyes traveled down to the headline COURTNEY COX AND DAVID ARQUETTE SPLIT.

    I don’t think you caused this…I think it was collective…just like how Jimmy Stewart died because someone mentioned him in the news, and everyone’s reaction was “Wow, he’s still alive?”

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