So I’m standing on the playground and I look like hell.
My yoga pants are dusty and there’s a weird orange stain on my t-shirt, and my hair is fighting the elastic holding it into a ponytail. I’m sore and I’m tired, and I feel like I got about 2/3 of sweet bugger all accomplished at work today. And I know that I have a good 4, maybe 5 hours of solid work ahead of me, and kids who are going to want stuff, lots of stuff, and I’m not going to get any help.
Then Sheila says “Hi.”
And she smiles an incredible smile.
Adds a “How are you?”
And damned if she doesn’t sound like she means it.
I don’t answer.
Something stops me, shuts my mouth, kicks my brain in the ass.
Because yeah, I’m a mess, and tired, and all that jazz, but damn, the trees are turning green, and my kids are here, and they’re good, and sitting within mere feet of me are at least a half dozen people I like a hell of a lot, and maybe I accomplished not a lot at my job, but I have a job, and it kicks ass, and fuck, sometimes I get real sick of the snark.
And so I answer.
Sheila laughs, a little nervously.
“You really hesitated there, I didn’t know what to expect!”
Hey, neither did I, Sheila.
A friend emails me things. Cool things, not endlessly forwarded jokes or cute puppy pictures, but good stuff. TED talks she thinks I’ll like. Links to stuff from the CBC that I am not even nearly intelligent enough to grasp. And the other day, it was a video clip that had been making the rounds of the internet for over a year, but that I had somehow managed to miss.
I let it sit in the inbox for a few days. Wanted to wait until I had time to really watch it, properly.
I came home that day and opened it. I’m glad I saved it. It was the perfect day for it.
You’re going to have to click here to watch it.
(The fact that I got frustrated over the fact that I couldn’t embed it is the most beautiful irony. Watch it, or you won’t know what I’m talking about.)
Everything kind of IS amazing. I’m going to try to be happy about that.