…I look at groups of friends.  They might not be identical, not even all that Stepford-y, really.  But there are similarities.  A’s hair is pulled back in the same way as B’s.  C’s earrings are a different color, but the same style as A’s.  A, B and C are all the same height, within a couple of inches.  They all drive cars whose worth is within a couple hundred bucks of each other. 

(An aside:  Are we drawn to people like us, or do we become who we’re with?)

And I think, “It’d be really nice to have a group of friends that I looked like and sounded like and thought like.  It’d just be so easy.”

(Image from here.)

And in the same moment, a second thought:  “If I found a group of people just like me, I’d walk away within 5 minutes, muttering under my breath, ‘What a bunch of assholes!'”


22 responses to “Sometimes…

  1. Oh yeah. So familiar, that feeling.

  2. I would never want to join a club that would have me as a member – Groucho Marx.

  3. haha! i love people like me, it just takes me a while to get over the loud obnoxious aspect of them! 🙂

  4. I’m attracted to people who overshare or perhaps share in an effort to connect and find common ground and I like people who have developed humor as a self-defense mechanism. I also like people who are at the same time elitist and egalitarian, who are cynical but hopeful. Not the easiest combos.

    I like you Ginny probably because of the real and perceived common ground, and differences, and of course because you make me laugh.

  5. i dunno… right now? i’d take more functional friends… which means i need to stop hanging out with the theater folks. but that would mean i’d lose my access to people who make me feel functional…

  6. I don’t know. I mean, my friends are like…we are The Motley Crew (in fact, once some of us tried to break into Motley Crue’s hotel room which totally didn’t work, but it did end with me and Schmee sitting on the floor with a six-pack, leaning against their hotel door saying “crue” to each other over and over again until the beer was gone).

    In terms of looks, knowledge, style, interests, beliefs, politics, habits, jobs, wealth…in all of those extraneous things about a person, we differ. Greatly.

    But we are all too brash for our own good and we all tell good stories. We laugh a lot. We insult each other a lot (but we’re not mean. People think we’re mean, but those people are weak, and I don’t want to be their friend anyway.) We’re lions and tigers and badgers and bears, we aren’t sharks and snakes, we aren’t deer and bunnies.

    So in the deeply etched facets of personality, we’re similar. Very.

    Do we look alike, or seem like a logical group of friends? Not on the outside. We never get mistaken for sisters. I get a lot of, “Dude, how did you get hot friends?”

    You know what, though? None of us are blonde.

  7. I wish I could say that I have not had that thought before…..but in actuality, I have it more frequently than I would like to admit. From there it’s quick jaunt over to crazy lonely town where they think things like, “I can’t believe more men don’t LINE FREAKING UP to date me.”

    Then I quickly realize that I am, in fact, a royal pain in the ass…I wouldn’t even date me. Ahhh well- guess we all have our own crosses to bear.

  8. No way could I associate with another prick like myself.

  9. I don’t think it’s any secret that people gravitate to others that are like them. But it’s when they start sniping at each other behind backs? Um… these are your friends that you picked because they’re a lot like you, dingus!

  10. I have totally noticed that. I think I’ve spent my whole life noticing that. Sometimes I’ve felt separate & alone & lost, and sometimes I’ve felt separate & noble & vaguely superior. Neither wholly accurate.

  11. I end up blending in too well. Inevitably it’s discovered that I only appear like them, but am not actually like them, and I’m ruthlessly exposed a fraud and I end up a man with no country.

    But I think I’m going with Tara on this one. Have felt the same way. Does this mean we are alike?????

  12. ChesneyCheetos

    with me ‘n my friends, we all bring something slightly different from the others to the metaphorical table. If we were to mush together, we’d be this insanely awesome giant.


    if you’re looking at the preppy kids and their friends, more than likely you’re going to see nothing but a bunch of mindless zombies. When they mush together, well…
    let’s just say it’s not all that pretty.

  13. Maybe I’m weird, but I’ve often found myself attracted to people who I knew would drive me insane if I had to LIVE with them in close quarters for even just a few hours … and yet, that attraction was there and was real. As a kid I remember making new friends and imitating them at a slightly subconscious level, their speech habits or gestures. I was just a kid, but even then I wondered what the fuck I was thinking with this goofy behavior.

    It’s taken me many years to learn that friendship, while special and to be cherished, also can bring great pain and has no need of following any rules other than that golden one.

  14. what the fuck are friends?

  15. I was just thinking the other day, “How do I draw such anti-social people to me? I’m like a frickin’ magnet!” And then I went, oooohhhh. Duh.

  16. ALSO! I totally forgot!

    I am way more self-absorbed than my friends.

    (My comments attest to this.)

    ((and you blow my mind.))

  17. michael.offworld

    It’s just your perception. People are people. If you aren’t happy with yourself, then you’ll see crap. If you can start to love yourself just a little, then you see things differently.

    I see my boys and I wonder, what can I do to help you accept yourself? How can I help you believe that you are cool? Who cares if you are crappy at sports and all that other “boy” stuff! It would be awesome if they could skip this whole self-loathing stage that so many of us go through.

  18. bwaaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaaa!

    Yeah, pretty much.

  19. The easiest is to have conditional this and that.

    I won’t stand being with peoples with interest or way of thinking too different from me. There just wouldn’t be anything to talk about.

    But I think the highest expectation about hanging with similar peoples is that they share the same standard. So even if I’m hanging out with another assholes, I expect we understand each others limit of tolerance and understand each others. How far we can be rude to each others without causing trouble.

  20. I have met people just like me and walked away muttering about what assholes they were. That’s why I went with the diametrical opposite of myself for a long term relationship.

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