“You’re talking to someone who really understands rock music.” – Tipper Gore

Owen & I were alone today.

It doesn’t happen often.  But today, the grandparents took the kids, and we were left with some spare time.

Which we used to….

make beef stew.  Sadly, that is not a euphemism for anything.

As we stood in the kitchen, chopping meat and vegetables, it was quiet.  Eerily so.  And we realized that soon, we’d be forced to talk to each other to fill that quiet.

But then I remembered, “Hey, I have an iPod.”

The relief?  Palpable.

So I chopped.  And I listened.  And I realized something.

My songs can be divided neatly into 2 groups:

Songs that you would play at a strip club, but not an upscale club, or even a decent club, more like a small town bar that brings strippers in on long weekends.

And songs that would be playing in the background while your friend nervously and tearfully reveals that he is and always has been gay, and you talk about it, and then he borrows your jeans and you go dancing.

What this combination reveals about me, I don’t believe I even want to know.

(sign photo is BYOB Strip Club by RandomFactor)

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34 responses to ““You’re talking to someone who really understands rock music.” – Tipper Gore

  1. I bet Tipper Gore doesn’t have stripper music on her ipod

  2. We have a few hours of no kids tomorrow, and I’m already dreading the silence. 🙂 Thanks for the tip – I’ll take my iPod, too.

  3. We had a few hours without the kids on Saturday and it felt foreign to be just the two of us, but I had a list (in my head) of all these conversations we never have time for with the kids around. A tip: plan a major trip every few years. There are endless conversations to be found in this process. If you like talking about trips, that is.

  4. Shit i have kids and it’s still silent except of course for the kids… and i’m just wondering what this says about me but i love the fucking Pet Shop Boys, Neil Tennant is a genius in my book and i used to dance in clubs to them all the time, though last i checked i’m not gay, though i’ve confused many a gay man by being very up on gay things, uh that didn’t sound right, can i borrow your jeans?

  5. the silences were hard. music helped…. it’s hard to talk without interruptions when you become used to them…
    i don’t play my iPod on shuffle… too much scary stuff buried on it… from show tunes to GG Allin… bad, bad shuffles happen.

  6. That iPod trick can really backfire. There was an incident involving the weather girls that I’d rather not go into. iPods are like the dark corners of your soul, it’s best to not let too much light in there. The images can be utterly horrifying.

  7. What about songs for when your friend comes out and tells you he’s gay while you’re at a strip club?

    Literally that would be strip club music, but figuratively it would be gay coming out music…so which would qualify?

  8. I don’t suppose you could give an example or two of the first category? Having never frequented such an establishment (upscale or not), I’m drawing a blank on what sort of music they’d play?

    Gretchen Wilson is the only thing I can imagine.

  9. No matter how old you get, long after the fire has died down to a mere ember, you and Owen will always have stew and stripper music to fall back on, and that my friend, is what real love is all about.

    Or maybe real love is about sacrifice, or fortitude or mix tapes or something, I can’t remember.

    • Stew & stripper music. And dumplings.

      “Or maybe real love is about sacrifice, or fortitude or mix tapes or something” That’s some Valentine’s card action, right there.

  10. When my sister and I were teenagers we used to get hit on all the time by family friends visiting from Poland.

    We were hanging out at a BBQ at my parents house, sometime in the early 90s, when one of these family friends went up and asked her, in a very thick accent:

    “So… you like Pet Shop Boys?”

  11. May I suggest this for your iPod? Teen Dreams by a band called Beach House.

    Notwithstanding formerlyfun’s truthy comment, and though euphemisms are fun, there is not a thing wrong with silence and/or beef stew.

    This post made me smile. You are brilliant Ginny!

  12. I’ve been saved by the ipod before…maybe that is the key to a long union?

  13. Ha. I can actually hear Beej imitating that Polish accent.

    We have strip joints like that up here. They are only open part of the year when hunting is going on hard-core. And the girls are scary. Or so I’ve heard.

    Pet Shop Boys. I can’t believe you admitted to that. 😉 LOL!

  14. Oohh ohh, I have one “She’s my CHERRY PIE” How’m I doing? That and anything by Motley Crue. Except for Home Sweet Home. Because they don’t allow open flames at strip clubs…but I suppose you hold up your cell phones now so I’m dating myself.

    My husband and I inevitably make beef stew. And no, not a euphamism. I actually really like beef stew. And all the chopping is time consuming. Besides…the few times we have…”gone upstairs” the second we hit the bed, a nap sounded better…

    (By the way, do you use a rip open flavor packet b/c if so, I like “Adolphs” which is IMPOSSIBLE to find and will mail you some to try…)

    • What is this Adolph’s you speak of? I’m intrigued.

      Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the iTunes store to stock up on Warrant songs…

  15. Man, I always have some stupid shit to ramble about. Always. But if I didn’t, I would listen to Pet Shop Boys.

  16. I never forgave Tipper Gore (and by proxy Al Gore) for the PMRC (PRMC? Wikipedia says PMRC). No matter how many elections he loses or Nobel Prizes he wins I still think of Al as the hen-pecked husband of a fascist.

  17. As to your question, I would say – someone I dated in 1995.

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