Wherein I Sell My Inner Child Out

When I was a kid,

I knew pretty much everything about everything.  It was a sweet, sweet time.

Or, rather, it would have been, had I not been burdened with a brother and sisters.

Whenever I would misbehave, act selfishly, my parents would respond with an accusation:  “You always WANTED to be an only child!”  To which I would (mentally and silently) reply, “Duh!”

Those siblings cramped my style.  A lot.

Which is why I am absolutely flabbergasted, gobsmacked, stupefied, by a couple of things I’ve done, lately.  (OK, maybe not that surprised.   My childhood penchant for exaggeration?  Delightfully intact.)

I’m on the Twitter.  So is my sister.  As soon as I knew she was there, I promptly followed her.  (And not just because that’s what decent people do.  Ahem.)  And then I waited.

And waited.

Beeotch wouldn’t follow me back.

I watched her follow other people, gain more followers herself.  Still nothing.

I even publicly called her out.  Still, no follow.

After the fifth or sixth passive aggressive note/email/facebook message, she finally followed me.  After pointing out that, “I will follow you. But just remember,you used to give me shit for that.”

Consider me burned.

And when she wasn’t busy following the hell out of me when we were kids (to the point where I once jumped out a bedroom window to get away from her), she delighted in the occasional game of “Repeat”.

You know the one, where you just say everything that your older sibling says, right after they say it.  All 3 of them would do it to me.  Repeat what I said till it drove me around the fragging bend, forcing me into complete silence, waiting patiently to pounce on my first utterance.

Made me crazy.

So I’m tooling around the app store on my phone, when I come across Talking Carl.

He’s a little red dude, and is FREAKING ADORABLE.

He laughs when tickled, flinches when poked, yells indignantly when “hurt”.

And repeats everything you say.

Being parroted as a kid bugged the living shit out of me.  And last week, I paid $0.99 for the privilege.

I have SOOOO sold out my childhood self.

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35 responses to “Wherein I Sell My Inner Child Out

  1. conversation between me and Carl:

    ‘Shut up’

    ‘No you shut up’

    etc

    I WANT ONE!

  2. Does Carl sit on your head and fart? If so, I am SO selling out my inner child as well!

  3. does carl say “Drop dead and stop breathing my air”?

  4. Okay. So I watched Talking Carl. Probably not the best thing to do when I have a fever.

  5. OMG. I love Talking Carl. I might just have to buy Talking Carl for my son just so I can play with him.

  6. 🙂 love talking carl

  7. HOly shit sending that to The Boyfriend Right. Now. That is full of the awesome.

  8. I wish I had been an only child. The only reason I agreed to another child was to make sure my older boy got tortured by his younger sibling like I did.

  9. Talking Carl has an enormous uvula

  10. I. Love. Talking. Carl.
    Seriously. The rest of the post was nice too. Sure, sure. Talking Carl? Ohmygodhemakesmelaughsohard. So hard in fact that I had to show your video to everyone I know. Yes. Everyone. Even now I start giggling at the mere thought of his little voice crying “SPRUUUUNG!”

    thank you.

  11. The only way that thing could be more annoying is if it utilized a mechanical finger to poke you in the eye simultaneously with the screeching whine he belts out.

    My inner child is alive and well. He thinks Talking Carl is a poopyhead. I’m inclined to agree.

    • “Now, the world don’t move to the beat of just one drum,
      What might be right for you, may not be right for some.”

      As true today as it was when it was written.

  12. So do I have to get an iPhone now? Carl makes me giggle, a lot.

  13. Oh my God that is just the best thing ever. The way he waits patiently for the whole lot of “I like big butts” then launches in. You can picture his little brain almost exploding trying to remember it all…

  14. Dude, younger siblings are so a pain in the ass! I’m with you. the only reason there should be two is so that the older gets tortured like I did.

  15. Uuuughhh, I’m sloowwwly being convinced to get on the Twitter knowing there are awesome peeps such as yourself on there. If I give in and sign up, I’ll follow you for sure 😉

  16. Maybe I should get a Carl, cheaper than therapy.

    • If I am thinking uncharitable thoughts about someone, I tell Carl. And it comes back at me in that voice. And all is well.

      Waaaay cheaper than therapy.

  17. “I’m on the Twitter.” 😛

    That alone just sooo cracks me up.

    😐 Sell out.

    Stop cracking me up. 😉

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