Excuses, excuses…

In the last couple of days I have:

Taken photos of a toilet for the express purpose of emailing them to a stranger.

Mistaken my soup bowl for a rice bowl at a restaurant, then pretended like I totally meant to do that.

Solicited dental advice from a British person.

Tried, in vain, to remove all traces of navy blue eyeshadow from a 3 year old’s eyebrows.

Written a guest review at Ask & Ye Shall Receive.

And what, may I ask, were you doing?

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26 responses to “Excuses, excuses…

  1. Well I broke a tooth while having lunch today. A big tooth. I didn’t say anything and I don’t think my lunch mates noticed. But now my tongue hurts from all the constant probing. It’s hard to stop. Dammit. I’m gonna need a crown. I finally tried calling the dentist starting around 4, but the line kept ringing busy … dammit.

  2. This is EXACTLY the kind of dialogue I wanted!

    I hope you finally got through to someone. It took me 12 days to get through to a dentist, I had been trying since Dec 31. And right before I got her on the phone, I googled her. And got 3 different entries that included her name and the word lawsuit. Gah.

    • I’m going to try tomorrow morning. My dentist is a “semi retired” old fellow who only has office hours on Mondays and Tuesdays. I hope you are having better dental luck too. Regarding the lawsuits … I think people’s perceptions of dentists can go all over the place … besides you can’t trust the internet. πŸ™‚

  3. I was planning to spend these past mornings, while all three children were at school (for the first time ever! whoot!) popping into and out of all the little boutiques and shops in the region, while the January sales are on, and having coffee with my husband. Instead, I am home with a child who is sick with Scarlatina, keeping him from scratching his skin off, hoping that the younger two don’t get it, while reading and trying to understand the French instructions on the medicine containers.

  4. Well, I wasn’t reading Ask and Ye Shall Receive….. πŸ˜‰

  5. I started a new notebook at work. Now not only do I now have a fully colour co-ordinated desk but I also wasted 30mins in writing all my notes that were in my old notebook into my new one. Thus… I was paid to write 2 ‘to do lists’ and not actually do anything on them other than task number 1. Write list into new book.

    (And people think Bankers and their support staff are over paid?)

  6. I have been fighting some Canadian temps down here in Texas. Please tell me this is a reversal and you have our usual January warmth. That wold make it bearable.

    I’m thinking about “Asking & Receiving.” Do you think I’d get my ass tore up over there?

  7. This kind of thing is rare for me but I had some pain so I got a massage. Man was that great! It was like someone liked me for a whole hour and I didn’t even have to do anything. Of course I know that I was paying them- I’m not delusional, but still it felt like physical approval.

    Rollie Overt

  8. i was taking pictures of a very butch P.E. teacher (i know…butch P.E. teacher is a bit redundant), and 20 four year olds shaking their asses.

    i am also volunteering as a coach for a creative arts team, of fourth grade kids….one of which, i want to strangle. like, i had to leave the room, to take a breather, so as not to murder her!

    i’m also wondering if it is possible for hell to freeze over, because we have frozen ponds IN TEXAS! in all my thi-…uh….many years, i have never seen a frozen pond!

  9. Well, let me think…
    1) Acted like 22 degrees was a heat wave and stood in the snow with my face toward the sun like a beached whale
    2) Realized not having children makes me especially strange when it comes to sending two of the puppies to their new homes
    3) Got the go ahead to start a medium-sized home remodel project
    4) Called one of my best friends the “C Word” and then laughed like a hyena WITH her – long story, that
    5) Watched the documentary “Young At Heart” right after the documentary “Apocalypse Island” and thought – fuck the Mayans!

  10. Experimented with new food combinations in a sad attempt to avoid going to the store (family is not thrilled).

    Explained to spouse that I was going for a rustic look and wouldn’t be mopping floors until visiting saint bernard is rehomed.

    Spent a couple of hours trying to come up with justification for a mid-day nap. Hmm, can we say missed opportunity?

    Enjoyed reading your guest review.

    Wow, I sound lazy and boring. πŸ™‚

  11. reading blogs while sitting in a conference room listening to radio frequency antenna design theory. and wondering when i became an imposter. but also wondering when the next break is because i have to piss like a stallion…

    hey. you asked….

  12. Dealt/dealing with a cranky, sick, teething 7mnth old boy… Dealt/dealing with 3 1/2yr old boy who thinks he’s 13… wrote one post… finished two books, Georges Simenon’s 3 Crimes and David Benioff’s City of Thieves, started Patrick Hamilton’s Hangover Square… finished a few crosswords at work, napped alot at work, worked a bit… stared at a few first drafts of some short stories… shovelled snow…drank Guinness… ate a steak… broke a vacuum cleaner… discovered i kinda dig Costco, hmm strange.

  13. I’ve been patiently waiting for more interesting stories from you, and now you’ve delivered, how nice. =)

    I would like to hear more about the toilet photos (but not see them) and what that’s all about.

  14. Trying to convince university students to READ. Wouldn’t have thought it would be that big a job…

    Nice review, by the way.

  15. my day consisted of proving I could wash my hands (all my myself!!), watching a video on how to make a bed, grocery shopping, giving a rabbit a bath, chemistry word problems, and consoling a child whose pet has died. I’m going to have to go with the rabbit bath as the highlight, wouldn’t you?

  16. A_wandering_mind

    1.Fought with my husband,
    2.Been thinking about a new post which I finally posted today.
    3.Learning and feeling sad about Haiti.

    Not actually a humorous list …is it?

  17. Worked on a report on my day off. Such fun and excitement!

    De-loused myself and the kids for the 3rd time in the last couple of weeks. Ewww!

    Had a farewell dinner at my in-law’s house before the big move, and got teary seeing the rooms looking so stark and empty.

    Hurt my back in the middle of the night when up to the kids. Now, barely moving.

  18. I did one of these review things too!

    And I had computer problems. Spent a lot of time on hold. There’s a metaphor there somewhere.

    I made two boys cry. They had it coming.

  19. I have lurked for some time now and decided it was time to de-lurk for a day. Your posts never fail to make me laugh. I’ve even linked to you a few times, the latest was your pontification of what crayon sex would be like. Brilliant! Keep up the great writing!

  20. Snowshoed a whole hellofalot and tried to make my hip hurt. And stalked my neighbor in an unsuccessful attempt to see if he’s single.

    What I’ve discovered thus far:
    His car is usually parked by mine at approximately 6:00 p.m.
    All of his lights are off at 8:00 p.m.
    He carries coolers to his car.

    I’m not sure I should be curious about a guy exhibiting such odd behavior. Tall or not.

  21. Oh my gawd, I had to go look at a calender to see where I’ve been. Today I’ve been tethered to my desk screwing around with a useless report someone thinks they need. Yesterday I arrived back from a food show in San Francisco, where it rained so hard my husband bought an umbrella for the first time in his life…he is a Seattle native=lots of rain. We ate in some AWESOME restaurants several nights in a row. I drank way too much one night (uh only one night? no not really) and was not up to my regular perky work-self the next day, ugh. I’ve planned a trip to Hawaii, trimmed a tree, (not Xmas trimmed, actual cutting) celebrated a b-day with a friend from out of town and truly wonder where time is speeding off to.

  22. what’s the difference between a soup bowl and a rice bowl?

    • There probably isn’t one. But I saw other people putting soup into the one I’d put rice into. And I realized that most normal people put the rice on the plate. And I played the “Oh, you know I hate it when my food touches, aren’t I ingenious?” card. But really? I’m just an idiot.

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