I accept some things about this time of year.
Religious folk are going to get up in arms when you wish them a Happy Holiday, insisting on “Puttin’ the Christ back in Christmas.” (All the while, ignoring the fact that they totally co-opted Yule from the Pagans, but whatever.)
Small children will exhibit sickening greed and extremely touching acts of altruism. All at the same time.
And the stores are going to play hardball.
I know that I’m going to be bombarded with advertising. I know that stores are counting on this month to bring them anywhere close to being profitable, especially in a recession. I get it.
But there was an ad on the radio the other night, one that literally made my jaw drop, and (although I didn’t see it, I’m pretty sure it happened) steam come out of my ears.
(Image from here.)
A diamond company here in town started their radio spot acknowledging that 2009 sucked the hind one. Then, in a twist of logic that was waaaay past 360 degrees of twist, they proceeded to say that the horrible economy meant that as a man, you needed to spend more money on your woman than ever before. And I quote:
“Be the hero she needs you to be.”
Oh nameless diamond store, I know you were aiming this ad at men. Poor, delusional, led by their penises men. You were trying to let them in on the “inside info”, let them know what us broads are really thinking.
Men, this is horseshit.
I’m a woman. I know how some, maybe a lot, of women think. So please listen.
Because do you know what my hero would do?
My hero would make sure the mortgage gets paid. My hero would read “Goodnight Moon” for the thousandth time because it’s a little girl’s favorite. My hero would step in, speak up if he saw someone being hurt. My hero would check out strange noises in the night. My hero would leave his ego out when making decisions that affect his family. My hero would open doors for ladies, and teach his son to do the same. My hero would be a decent, stand up guy, even when that’s the hard way.
You know what my hero wouldn’t do?
Piss away thousands of dollars on a damned piece of jewellery.
Don’t believe the hype, men.