Here are the facts:
1. The Boy is being un-dilligent about finishing his school lunches. It doesn’t matter what we send him – he’s not going to eat it. Healthy, fatty, salty, sweet, crunchy, chewy, whatever, it’ll come back home in his lunchbox. (I can only assume he’s existing on oxygen and potential at this point.) But every now and again, we hit on something he’ll eat. I emptied his still-heavy lunch bag after school today. The contents: a whole wheat bun, an apple (with, it should be noted, a bite out of it), a container of carrots, a granola bar. And two empty yogurt containers. So at least he’s eating something, right?
2. The Husband went grocery shopping no more than 3 days ago. Included in his purchases were two family size tubs of yogurt. Not just any yogurt. The kind that makes your intestines do a happy dance.
Both The Husband and I can recall doling out bowls to The Boy over the last 3 days. Neither of us recall eating any, ourselves.
Both of those tubs are empty, in the recycling bin.
3. We have one bathroom in this house. This imposes an intimacy on our family that, while stifling at times, keeps us all apprised of where the others are on the regularity spectrum. And The Boy, shall we say, is Due. If you know what I mean.
Tomorrow could be one hell of a day for a certain elementary school teacher.
And maybe an elementary school janitor.