I’m Too Lazy to Buy Stamps

But if this piano wasn’t tied to my ass, I’d procure some postage, and send in a postcard to PostSecret.


And it’d go a little something like this:



“I’m 5’10”, and little old ladies always stop me in the grocery store to reach things up on the high shelves.

I love it because it’s like seeing my grandma, and feeling good and helpful and loved.

And there’s no baggage, and no guilt over the fact that I haven’t picked up a phone to call her in over 6 months.

(And part of the reason I don’t call is because I’m being selfish, but it will kill me a little if this call is the time she finally forgets who I am, exactly).”





(photo is “Sweet Old Lady” by RobW)

22 responses to “I’m Too Lazy to Buy Stamps

  1. 5’10” ?

    somehow I never pictured you as tall.

    loved both your grandma stories

  2. you’re a good human. i thought the ‘post secret’ was going to be your secret urge to thwack them on the head with a can of green beans… but maybe that’s just me on my dark days….

  3. Oh, I so know what you mean.

    My mother conned me into having my grandmother over on a Saturday, and I was a bit annoyed. Then two weeks later she died and I was so glad she came, but it would never have happened ever if it had been left up to me. Ever.

  4. I get this. Too much unfortunately. Except my poor grandma doesn’t forget who we are, she’s just gotten insufferable. Presumably, from being left alone all the time. I know my kids will do the same to me though, all in due time.

  5. I’m not sure that this would make the cut on PostSecretions- I think it is supposed to have more to with with sexual proclivity, self-injury or revenge. At least that’s how I got mine posted.

    Randy Botherknicker

  6. See, I would take the thing off the high shelf and hold it over their head until they leave me their entire estate if only to get their hands on the Metamucil I am waving above them.

  7. We’re about the same height. Perhaps we could start a grocery assistance business. We could target market grandchildren who are feeling guilty about not talking with their grandparents. But you know what? At the funeral they could tell everyone, “I paid for Tall People service for her at least five times!”

  8. I wish getting things off tall shelves was enough to quell the monthly grandmother call 😦 “Why can’t he come to Canada? Is he a criminal? Are you pregnant? Don’t get married!” Holy moly, can’t I just hand you a jar of preserves and be done with it? 😛

  9. Ginny, I will move to Canada to be a part of this “Pumpkin Muffin Franchise”! That has my name all over it. I’ll just bake or something.

  10. at a shade under 6’5 the little old ladies love me and sheet it makes me feel all warm inside when i help them out.

  11. I heart PostSecret. A lot. Maybe you should e-mail it in.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s