99 Problems But Grover Ain’t One

Husband:  I don’t get it.  Why is Jay-Z such a big deal?

Me:  Well, he’s got 99 problems, but a bitch ain’t one.  Can you say that?  Can you?

Husband:  Yeah, whatever, seriously, why?

Me:  I’m just sayin’, on the street, he’s kind of a big deal…

Traitorous, Heretofore Silent Sister of Mine:  Ooooh, yeah Gin, you really know what’s going down on “the street”, don’t you?

Husband:  Maybe “Sesame Street”…

And then I go to bed.

fin

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28 responses to “99 Problems But Grover Ain’t One

  1. You know what you should do? Get him really drunk and when he falls asleep, tattoo “Blood 4 Ever” on his forehead with a rusty nail.

  2. I’m so totally not down with this ‘lingo’ but apparently my husband IS. He just starting singing the song, lol.

  3. I think I would of gone to bed too.

  4. If sesame street is the street you live on then you might like this although it clearly is NOT from the real Sesame Street:

  5. Just so you don’t think ill of me, I was looking up the Jay Z video when I came across the cookie monster video. I didn’t actually make it or anything. Just don’t want you to think I’m a freak since that video is terrible and not even that funny. But I thought it was funny that it tied into your blog post so well. Okay, glad I got that said.

  6. Jay-Z will keep you young.

  7. Reality is a harsh mistress.

  8. Sisters tend to turn on you at the most inopportune times don’t they?

  9. that’s when you should have turned around with a butter knife and said “i’ll cut a bitch!”

    i find that my coworkers are stunned to silence when i whip that one out now and again.

  10. Family – unreliable.

    I love that song, but inexplicably don’t own it and know it is stuck in my head thank you very much.

  11. I’m so glad for two things: One, your street smarts. Two, you like my drunk voicemails. I don’t even remember what I said. So you might have to enlighten me.

    • 1. If you ever have to rely on my street smarts, you’re pretty much fucked.
      2. You were mostly concerned with the fact that I not tell your parents you smoke. Which I thought was odd because when your mom and dad & I get together for coffee, we rarely talk about you, actually.

  12. I love how Husband totally avoids your question. Apparently he knows you fight well while drunk…past experience, maybe?

  13. You have no idea the source of pain smoking a cigarette causes me. Back when I lived at home it was a major source of dread. Awful. I’m shivering right now.

  14. Okay, quite possibly the funniest thing ever.

    I had someone once tell me he came from the ghetto and I replied with “No, you didn’t. You’re from Georgia.” His response was “Oh, yeah, you know all about the South, don’t you? You read Gone with the Wind.” I was slightly embarrassed.

    What exactly is a Jay-Z?

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