Swing Low, Sweet Chariot

I don’t exactly get a running start in the morning.

 

I like to wake slowly, sip some coffee, check my e-mail.

 

Not get dressed.

 

I’m doing that, this morning, when I hear a gentle knock on the front door.

 

On the porch is a bald, bespectacled man, holding something in his left hand.

 

I need to answer the door.  I know that.

 

But I’m wearing this:

 

And I’ve got a bit of this going on:

saggy

 

 

He looks at me, but he’s trying not to look at me.

 

“Hi is this Owen’s house these parts didn’t fit in the mail slot ok bye then.”  He spits out what he has to say and runs back to his truck.

 

 

 

And that, dear readers, is how I came to meet one of my husband’s most important clients for the first time.

 

 

 

(Nightshirt picture from here.)

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51 responses to “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot

  1. sounds like you made quite the impression

  2. lol. I think it sounds hot, personally. *shrugs* And I doubt that your boobs are like that.

    • So maybe he wasn’t embarassed? Maybe he was so overcome with lust, he didn’t trust himself? If that picture wasn’t so accurate, I may let myself believe that.

  3. I have answered the door like that sooo many times. I don’t know why anyone knocks before noon.

  4. For most guys, boobs is boobs. He probably enjoyed it.

  5. So very awkward! What did your husband say?

  6. I actually have a thing for those shirts on women, Yum…

  7. I just love a man with big parts.

  8. Hey there! The laptop and I are in the closet hiding from the kids and I finally got a chance to read your blog. I love it! It’s so nice to know that I’m not the only one “living the dream”. Gotta go – they’re too quiet, which means either they’ve found my chocolate stash or they’re practicing calling 911.

    Later.

  9. i’ve answered in a towel. but it was a couple of young members of the God Squad trying to save my soul from eternal damnation… screw ’em…

    had it been someone important? i’d have at least felt a little bit bad…

  10. Oh that’s awesome. Months back, Izzy was playing with the phone(unbeknown to us) and dialed 911. It was like 7am when they arrived and while my husband answered the door, I had to explain that our daughter was playing with the phone, yes officer, I know, it ties up the emergency services, blah blah blah while my then 8 year old watched me get a talking to from the POLICE all while in a completely, paper thin, transparent white long sleeve t-shirt, but on a high note, I did have undies on, at least that day.

    What did the husband have to say?

    That’s my girl???

    • Don’t think I don’t remember that post: that was the day my kids and I had a hella serious talk about 911. BTW, thanks for that.

      No “atta girl” from Owen. Just laughing. At me, as opposed to with me.

  11. Could have been worse. It could have been that day that the kids locked you out of the house when you were in your socks.

  12. The other day I let the exterminator in to spray the house and to my horror, as he walked through the door, I realized the dogs had dug up the bathroom trash bin and spread the goods all over the living room floor.

    I stepped on the most offensive thing (the mouse looking one) so he wouldn’t see it and then went hide somewhere until he left.

  13. Call me weird but i somehow find both those photo’s attractive particularly the latter. You didn’t happen to have a mouth full of sour patch kids at the time did you?

  14. LOL Love the mental picture haha

  15. OMG I cannot stop laughing. Your pics totally made this post. I can’t wait to have my husband read it because that is so exactly something that I would have done.

    • I wish I was more photo savvy, and could have super imposed the boobs onto the nightshirt. Or I guess I could have just taken a picture of myself. ::shudders::

  16. I don’t know how you survive without the papparazzi bombarding you with business, because I don’t think there’s a classier broad than yourself wandering around these parts. Or any parts, for that matter. Including lady parts.

    That didn’t make any sense.

  17. D’oh! Makes a girl want to wear 12 hour make-up and a nightie to bed.

    Oh, wait, that passed.

  18. I don’t know, that night shirt is pretty smoking. I think maybe you misinterpreted his discomfort.

  19. As long as they weren’t hanging out the bottom of the nightshirt, I think you’re good.

  20. I wonder how their conversation went after that encounter . . .

  21. I enjoyed the last time my roommate answered the door and yelled,”Captain Steve, it’s for you!” and I replied, “I’m not wearing pants!” then she bought cookie dough from the neighborhood cheerleader girl. I am a classy broad. On the downside, that first pictured girl had nice legs. . . I’m envious and I bet the dude wasn’t to embarassed to check you out as you shut the door.

  22. On the bright side, you were smart enough not to raise your hands and wow him with your best impression of Ms. Choksondik. 😉

  23. Don’t you love those mornings? Me, I walk around telling myself that the windows are dirty enough to be opaque. Because that makes me classy.

  24. This reminds me of the time my roommate walked in on me while I was doing my homework at my computer.

    Naked.

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