Oligochaeta’s Anonymous

I’m in some serious, mother-lovin’ pain, right now.

 

I pulled my left shoulder.  The right shoulder’s in agony from compensating.

 

I could cry.

 

Because I hurt.

 

Because I’m stupid.

 

We were driving along in the mini-van today.  Girl-child was sitting waaay back in the third row. 

She was trying to hand me something I needed.  She was stretched as far as her chubby little arms could extend.  I reached back, twisting, contorting to meet her.

 

It was in vain.

 

Searing pain shot up my arm, across my collar-bone, burrowing in my neck.  I swore.  Loudly.  Cursed my poor decision making.

 

I shouldn’t have put myself in that position.

 

 

 

 

 

 

But I really, really wanted one of her gummy worms.

 

The Gummy Worm - "Sacchararum Oligochaeta"

The Gummy Worm - "Sacchararum Oligochaeta"

 

 

“My name is Ginny.  And I have a problem.”

 

 

(photo from here)

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51 responses to “Oligochaeta’s Anonymous

  1. Hahahaha! Now THAT would be a whole new ‘anonymous’.
    How about this? To cheer you up a bit, I promise the next time I’m at a meeting I will announce myself as, “Hi. My name is Mongo, and I’m a Sacchararum Oligochaeta addict.”
    Scary things about that:
    1. One woman will know I’m saying I’m addicted to gummy worms
    2. No one else will really notice I said anything different

  2. I don’t want you to get run out of a meeting or anything, but if you could try that…

  3. Gummy worms? Seriously? Maybe like, peanut butter M&Ms, or like a tiny little twix or a watermelon Jolly Rancher…but gummy worms? You suffer for your simple pleasures.

  4. I like gummy worms, too. I might even risk a bodily injury to get one of the red/green ones. I hope you feel better.

  5. I would do that for something savoury. Or perhaps an eclair. Or a bottle of beer. You can have all the worms.

  6. I’ve gotta go with Rassles on this one. Except for the sours, which are mildly tolerable, gummy worms remind me of the candy orange wedges that my great aunt kept in a dish on her coffee table for like 25 years. Of course, I like candy corn so I should probably shut up.

  7. I can take or leave regular gummi worms. However, sour gummi worms would make me attempt automobile acrobatics like that. Mmm Hmm. Ok, now I’m hungry for them. I think I’ll pick up a bag or ten for this weekend’s road trip. No road trip is complete without sour gummi worms.

  8. There must be an easier way to get gummy worms. You need your own pack in the cup holder.

  9. awww poor thing. i’d do silly things too for gummy worms, bears, candies… hope you’ll have a speedy recovery 🙂

    • Not the bears. I don’t know why, but the bears don’t do it for me. Only when I was pregnant did I buy them. And I think that was just because I wanted to rip someone’s head off, and gummi bears don’t bleed.

  10. As you get along in years young lady, be careful about those extreme movements without proper pre-stretching. I tore the supraspinatus in my shoulder by just pressing up/pivoting to get out of a swimming pool. When you need candy, have someone throw it at you. And/Or pack your own at all times.

    Splenda Daddy

  11. Couldn’t she just toss you one?

    • You’d think so. But if it had fallen on the floor, that would have been one dead soldier. Because that floor is the mini-van equivalent of the black hole of calcutta, yo.

  12. They should add muscle-strain injuries to the road toll. I don’t know how many times i’ve torn a neck/shoulder/back muscle trying to reach something in the back seat of the car.

    From the front seat, that is.

    • You know what we NEED? One of those claw things they’re always pitching at feeble old people, to help them reach stuff in the cupboard. Next time I see one (a claw, not a geezer) I’ll pick one up for each of us, ok?

  13. The things we do for sugary goo.

  14. Were they the sour ones? Because I would break myself for one of the sour ones.

  15. You crack me up! I thought I was the only one who’d ever done that before, although I think I was reaching for Skittles, which of course I would have had no chance in hell of ever being to get, I mean seriously…

    First time here…can you believe I found your blog while googling images of Drake and Josh… for my kids, dammit, for my kids…

    Glad I found you…

    • Hey Karen, thanks for coming by. Yes, my little friends Drake & Josh, helping me lure in fellow dirty-old-women. Or people looking for pictures for their kids. Or people who just aren’t sure which camp they’re in…;)

  16. I ripped the shoulder out of a blouse once stretching to reach a bag of Oreos. Poetic justice.

  17. I apologize- I’ve obviously come here in error… I was searching “gummy wretch worm-around.”

    Cal Cutter

  18. It would only be worth if it they were the sour ones.

    • Who knew sour vs. sweet was such a one-sided issue? Why do they even MAKE sweet candy anymore, when the public is so clearly clamoring for sour?

  19. Anything gummy is worth a bit of pain, Ginny.

  20. Mmm! Gummy worms.

    I probably would have done the same thing.

  21. if you stuff enough sour patch kids in your mouth at one time if feels like you’re tripping. at least that what i’ve heard.

    • What if I lick a frog right after?

      And since my day just opened up, I’m off to 7-11 to get some sour patch kids. ‘Scuse me while I kiss the sky, yo.

  22. Aww! I’m sorry, but that is one adorable way to injure yourself! Did you at least get some gummy worms in the end? Or some Tylenol-3? Sounds like a good combo to me 😛

    • Well of course I got the worms. I eventually just pulled over, and stuffed my mouth with as much gummi worm as would fit. Which is, surprisingly, a lot.

  23. yup, that’s me, lurking around OVER A MONTH after you wrote this, wishing you a painful recovery, probably AGES after you’ve recovered.

    Missed you lately, I suck at the internetz.

  24. Crap, meant to post that on the other blog entry, the dialogue between you and your husband. Oh well!

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