Dear Joe The Plumber,

Dear Joe the Plumber:


In a perfect world, I wouldn’t know who the hell you were.  But this isn’t a perfect world – it’s early 21st century North America.  The Republican Party, via John McCain, used you.  You were portrayed as a “salt of the earth” type.  You were held up as the very essence of what us regl’ar folk are all about. 


You, in turn, used that notoriety to garner a book deal.


Now, I’m willing to bet you didn’t give yourself the moniker “Joe the Plumber”.  Your name’s not even Joe – it’s Sam.  But nevertheless, the world knows you as Joe the Plumber.

And that’s where I take issue.


You see, Joe, I’m married to a plumber.  Good guy.  Salt of the earth.  Reg’lar folk. 


Plumbers have a lot of stereotypes to overcome.


The buttcrack,

the low I.Q.,


the air-punching of random blocks till coins drop out.


But now, I’m afraid you’re adding a whole new stereotype into the mix:  raging homophobe.


You did an interview with Christianity Today Magazine


When asked for your thoughts on the legalization of gay marriage, you volunteered this:


“I’ve had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn’t have them anywhere near my children.”


Oh Joe.


You’re entitled to your opinion.  No matter how narrow-minded and utterly devoid of intelligence it is.  But here’s what I want you to do:  Work harder at getting your real name out there, drop the “Plumber” from your name.  And distance yourself from real, live, licensed plumbers.


Because you, sir, do not speak for all plumbers. 


And I’d hate for people to think that you do.









(Images from here and here.)


25 responses to “Dear Joe The Plumber,

  1. Well said Ginny, but come on, he’s a republican for goodness sake (probably a creationist too), if he had a second brain it’d be lonely!

  2. “had” some friends that were homosexual? bet he doesn’t have them any more. what a self serving prick.

    My homo son and I don’t want to see his butt crack within 10 miles of any impressionable children

    (hey Ginny, can i say prick on your blog?)

  3. Ginny, please don’t lump all of us devout Christian Republicans in with Joe the plumber I am for gay marriage (I voted no on prop 2, the Florida version of California Prop 8 banning gay marriage.) Not all of us Jesus Freaks (rolls eyes) are closed minded homophobes you know.

    Combating a sin with another sin just makes more sin.

    Here’s to hoping the WE all can become more open minded.


  4. Wow. What a jerk. I think you should actually print out that letter and send it to him. It was brilliant. Especially the “air punching random blocks” part.

  5. Nice Mario Bros pull – I totally forgot Mario was a plumber. It’s sad that people still think that way. I Wish there was a vaccine for ignorance.

  6. the fact that anyone would pay to hear this asshat speak or read his book proves that P.T. Barnum was right.

  7. I didn’t know plumbers served any purpose at all other than punching shit for coins and go-carting. Seriously. Something about pipes…

    Oh yeah, and FUCK THAT GUY.

  8. Life as we know it would cease to exist without the wonderfulness of great plumbers.

    Life as we know it could only be improved if non-Joe the non-plumber fell off the face of the earth.

  9. nancy,
    you brought up one of the things that I have to keep reminding myself of. When I begin to feel like using Christian as some sort of expletive, I try to remember that the vast majority of people that I know are Christian and are also pretty decent people.

    It is easy to fall into the trap of painting all members of a group to match the more idiotic of the group.

  10. I just want to go on the record as saying Joe the Plumber is a douche.

    That’s all

  11. I can’t even believe this moron is this famous. It’s beyond me. What is wrong with Christianity today? That’s a rhetorical question.

  12. Me thinks Joe with his own butt crack is a watercloset homosexual.

    I actually don’t even know what I’m talking about.

  13. I can’t believe that.
    I agree.

  14. Well you know he isn’t even a liscensed plumber right?

    And yes Nancy, thanks for the shoutout from an openminded Christian Republican. Seriously, you guys need to speak up more often because it always seems like the dogmatic crazies yell the loudest.

    I care about Samuel J. Wurzelbacher’s great parenting advice much the same as I’d want relationship advice from Whitney Houston.

  15. sadder still? someone out there – somewhere – bought and at least attempted to READ that book. no wonder the country is in the shitter…. guess we’ll need more plumbers.

  16. Actually my favorite part was when he justified the slur queer. Honeslty. “Yeah, and that’s another thing! I resent you people using that word. That’s our word for making fun of you! We need it!! Well I’m taking back our word” -Homer’s Phobia

  17. gitwizard: Thanks, man. While I do believe there are some whip-smart Republicans out there, this dude isn’t one of them.

    nursemyra: The first time my son was babysat overnight was by a gay couple. His first dayhome provider was gay. His first parade? The Pride Parade. My kid being around someone like Joe? THAT’S scary to me.

    nancy: I absolutely do NOT lump all Christians in together. I’m scared people will lump all plumbers in together! Rock on with your open minded self, Nancy!

    megan: Too many 2 syllable words. 😉

    vinomom: To be fair, you never actually SEE Mario or Luigi plumbing. They’re more interested in mushrooms and money. (Coupla’ pimps.)

    kono: Word up. Barnum was incredibly astute.

    Rassles: Everyone forgets about plumbers. Until they’re waste deep in their own effluence. Mwa ha ha!

    David: I have completely appropriated the non-Joe the non-Plumber bit. Very nice.

    Boomcoach: True dat. I’m glad Nancy commented.

    Betsey: Well spoken, m’lady.

    blue: If you come out as an extremist on anything, people will clamor.

    Xbox: Hand to the deity of your choice, I was purusing exactly that line of thinking when I opened your comment. Free. Kee.

    Loni: Dude be messed up, yo.

    formerlyfun: Whoa! Two z-list celebrity burns in ONE comment! Who’s my girl?

    daisyfae: Nice tie-in at the end. Maybe I’ll put it on Owen’s next batch of business cards?

    faemom: That’s the one where he gets mad that they’ve taken our manliest names, like Bruce and Julian. Good stuff.

  18. You forgot to add “Your 15 minutes are up. Go back under the sink where you belong.”

  19. I hate people who try to hold onto their fifteen minutes of fame. It’s so pathetic. I hate Joe the Plumber. Who cares what he thinks? He’s obviously an ignorant, hateful person. But I love plumbers. I really do. They work hard and I think we can all agree that the work they do is VERY important.

  20. I have a hard time believing that he has “friends” that would continue to talk to him after saying something so freakin’ stupid.

    Really thought Good Ole Joe would go away after it was discovered his out and out lies.

    Book deal?

    Charming. Now I know why I can’t sell shit. I need to make a national fool out of myself in order to be published. Good to know.

  21. You know, when I get snippets of this moron’s moronia, I’m reminded why I moved away from the USA. And I’m reminded why I never ever regret that decision.

  22. When I read that my blood pressure skyrocketed. Don’t want them near your kids? Seriously? Asshat

  23. So true Ginny, my brother was a brilliant plumber and he didn’t think like “Joe.”

    Your graphics always crack me up.

  24. Beej: And I think 15 minutes was kind of generous.

    Gwen: I thank you. And Owen thanks you 😉

    mkh: Cuntbag? Ah, remember way back last week, when Nursemyra asked if she could use the word prick on my blog? Were we ever so innocent? (I used the word cuntbag 3 times yesterday. It’s mine, now.)

    christine: You weren’t operating under the incredibly quaint notion that all it took was TALENT, were you? (BTW, like the title of your blog. Click on Christine’s link, folks.)

    cdv: Oh come now, Chris. There’s NO moronia in Australia? (If not, I’m on my way there.)

    Gypsy: It’s kind of the most disgusting, insidious kind of bigotry.

    kitty: CRACK you up? Bwah ha ha!

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