Me Hearties

I know, I know.


You’re cooler than Facebook.


Well, I’m not.


Despite its evils (lame status updates by your 3rd grade classmates, shadowy cabals of people gathering my information in return for telling me which pair of shoes I am, pictures of my friends’ friends’ grandma’s in bikinis that I can’t seem to unsee), I dig it.


More so, now.


Because I just figured out how to convert my Facebook account over to English (Pirate).



Why yes, he DID do his own makeup!  Why do you ask?

Why yes, he DID do his own makeup! Why do you ask?



My Inbox is now my Bottle O’Messages.  Instead of saying that you “like” something that someone’s said, you now let them know that “Arr, this be pleasin’ to me eye.”  People are no longer “people”; they’re “scalliwags”.  And instead of Facebook exhorting me to suck my friends in by email, they now encourage me to “Hoist y’self up yonder crow’s nest and use the Matey Scouter Weather-eye for jolly companions to find the scoundrels ’round Ye olde Facebook”.


The luster was fading.  I was thinking of leaving.


But Facebook?  Nice move.




(I wish I knew how to quit you.)


17 responses to “Me Hearties

  1. How do you do it? Oh my god. I must have pirate on my facebook. It’s been losing it’s luster for me lately too. Except for Bejeweled Blitz, which is just the right amount of easy and addicting to cause me a real problemo. (Yes that’s an extra “o” on the end there. Sometimes I switch into Spanish mode for no reason at all. Weird). Anyhow, if you could share this little pirate secret, I would be grateful. I want to be excited about Facebook again, because for a while there it was the only way I kept in touch with people I know. Which is actually kind of pathetic when I think about it. Why do I feel like everything I write these days turns into an “I’m pathetic” comment. Lord alive, I need to get me to a therapist but quick. Aaaargh! (That last one is for you. I’m trying to speak your pirate language. I believe Aaaaargh! is one of your colloquialisms, no?)

  2. we’re all scalliwags in australia

  3. mine is on pirate…but, sometimes, it’s kinda hard to translate!!

  4. Seriously? You can make your facebook talk Pirate? Aye, thats pretty friggin cool!

  5. I did this as well. Much fun . . . for a few minutes. I guess I’m quitting it fairly quickly . . .

  6. mongoliangirl

    Facebook. MySpace. Ain’t none of it shivers me timbers. Aye, but you sure do.

  7. Avast! Aye, ’tis a fair wind for Facebook this morn.

  8. I generally lurk here (found you via Ask) but had to comment and say THANK YOU for the English (Pirate) info. I changed mine just now and it’s freaking awesome! Not too into Facebook either but it can be a time passer when I’m caught up on all the blogs in my reader (’cause you know actually working at work is completely overrated). 🙂

  9. People underestimate how some good pirate talk can make their product all the more bearable.

  10. who’s cooler than facebook? i’d like to know.

  11. That is like the coolest thing ever . . . or maybe it’s because we’ve been pretending to be pirates for a week now. Arrr.

  12. Jesus Christ. See what happens when you try to leave blog comments with a toddler near the computer? You end up sounding like an idiot.

    At least he gave me an excuse to sound like an idiot.

    Anyway, what I meant to say was:

    Facebook? Has a pirate theme? And all this time I’ve been waiting for a Hello Kitty . . .

    Aw, shit. This ain’t even funny anymore. Damn that kid of mine!!

  13. I’m not cooler than Facebook. I’m not cool enough for Facebook. It annoys the shit out of me, Pirate or no. But hey, different strokes for different folks, eh?

  14. Gwen: You’re welcome 😉

    nursemyra: A whole country founded on the word “penal”.

    Nikki: I have to stop before I press ANYTHING, because I’m not always sure what I’m doing. Adds some spice to the experience.

    Vinomom: ‘Tis, matey.

    tysdaddy: It’s not for everyone. Ye wussy landlubber!

    mongoliangirl: Thanks!

    Rassles: It really was.

    Lil: Way to de-lurk! Admitting it is always the first step. Comment away!

    blues: That’s what the people at Captain Morgan and Long John Silver’s have known all along.

    aprildawn: No one. That’s who.

    faemom: The pirate outfit in the picture no longer fits the kid in the picture. But pirates don’t care if their butts hang out, so, yeah, we play some pirate too.

    Kathleen: The Hello Kitty theme would be eerily silent. Because SHE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A MOUTH!! What is UP with that?

    cdv: It only bugs me when I do something stupid on it. Which is often.

  15. I changed it back from Pirate to normal English b/c I had no idea what the hell was going on.

  16. I learned how to quit it by seeing how much better everyone else was doing at life than I was. Instant Facebook divorce.

    But pirates you say? Hmm…

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