I had a dream last night.
I was packing. Packing up my house. I knew I was moving; I’d known for quite some time. But I’d left it to the last possible minute. Actually, after the last possible minute.
I found a blender that I’d borrowed from the neighbor. I walked over to her house to return it. All their possessions were lined up by the front door. I was shocked at how far ahead of me they were.
“We’ve all known about the relocation for a month. What do you mean you’re not ready?”
All our houses had been bought. Whether we liked it or not. They would be torn down. Something industrial and military would replace them.
The neighbor was done talking to me. She turned back to the wall, resumed painting it white. She wanted the house to look nice for the new owners. I tried to tell her it wouldn’t matter. Nevertheless, I was envious, and wanted to do the same, even though I knew I wouldn’t even have time to dust. I grabbed a couple of her unused U-Haul boxes on my way out. I would probably need them, I was out of containers to pack my things. I was worried that in my haste, stuff would get left behind. Probably important stuff.
I stood in the middle of my living room. I looked at the crap, crap everywhere. Bank statements. The suit my husband wore to a friend’s funeral. Half a deck of playing cards. Fishing lures. The voodoo doll my boss brought back from New Orleans. My Grade 2 report card (Opened to the page with the accusation: “Ginny fails to apply herself in Phys. Ed.”). Tabs from pop cans we’d been saving for the wheelchair kids. The plant that died 6 months ago. Every second that elapsed left a little less floor space, a few more possessions.
Soon there was nothing but a circle, small enough for me to sit, knees hugged to my chest. And I sat in my circle, rocking, and giggling, then laughing, then roaring. Roaring at the utter ridiculousness of all this…stuff. That I’d ever thought any of these things was important enough to remember. To be anxious about. And when the knock on the door came, I still couldn’t stop laughing.
(Image from here.)