Pink

 

When the girl was born, I had some ideas.

 

One of them was the idea that I didn’t necessarily have to raise her to be girly. 

 

She had an older brother, so there would be boy toys around to play with.  Boy videos to watch. 

 

And boy clothes to wear.

 

I dressed her in navy, red, green, yellow.

 

But then, people, nice, well-meaning people, started giving her gifts.  Pink gifts.  Pink sleepers, pink blankets, pink shirts, pink bibs, pink hairbrushes, pink if-a-baby-needs-it-she’s-got-it-and-it’s-pink.

 

And I used it.

 

Because I was tired.  I was tired of people, complete strangers I cared not for, peering into her stroller, and asking,

 

“Is it a boy, or a girl?”

 

And I thought, “I will dress her in pink.  And that will fix all their little red wagons.”

 

If I had to do it all over again, though, I’d dress her in beige, all the time.

 

And when people asked if the baby was a boy or a girl, I’d answer:

 

“Yes!”, and nod, enthusiastically.

 

or

 

“”You know, it’s the damndest thing, I kept meaning to look, but I got busy…”

 

or

 

“Neither,” and then use my pointer fingers to make little Satan horns on my temples.

 

 

(The funny thing is, dressing her in pink only cut the frequency of questions by half.  Nosy people, apparently, don’t see so well, either.)

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14 responses to “Pink

  1. Ha! Wish i’d done the “Gender Mysterioso” thing… and the answer to “Boy or Girl?” would have been: “When it matters, it’ll be pretty fucking obvious!”

  2. lol at satan horns

    Haley’s 8 and I’m still all about the Pink thing – she’s more into Pink. As in the singer.

  3. i dressed my girl in pink…idiots still asked.

    now, at 7, being raised in a household that flows mostly with testosterone…she’s not so girly.

    she can take down her older brother in seconds flat and make him scream like a girl…she asks her best friends, who happen to be little boys, to spend the night…she runs around in basketball shorts and under-armor…

    then she retreats to her raspberry colored room filled with stuffed animals, beads, taylor swift music, and her american girl doll.

    i’m pretty proud…she’s a perfect combination….she has chick balls!!!

  4. Oh, I am totally pulling the devil horns shit should I ever have a kid. Awesome.

  5. Saying neither and making Satan horns?

    That’s funny.

  6. I wore boys clothes until I was old enough to pick a favorite color, because I had all male cousins, and therefore all male baby clothes.

    Then I jumped on the pink wagon. Demanded it, in fact. I was all about pink, and little white kittens.

    Then I started kindergarten, and it ended abruptly. My mom even talks about it, like, “Oh, you used to love wearing little dresses, and everything was pink, and you liked playing house, and then you started school and within a week? I had a son.”

    She’s depressed about it til this day.

  7. I’d just say ‘Guess’, and walk off.

  8. My eldest son wears pink to this day 😉

  9. You are so fucking hilarious. I think you should just let me hang out with you and your pinky girl and make the Satan sign. It would be better than waiting around for an AC/DC song to do it.

  10. daisyfae: Oh, the things I would have said if I’d had more than 2 hours of sleep at a time…

    vinomom: My little pink girl really likes to sing Radiohead “What the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here.” And she really SELLS it.

    Nikki: Sounds like you’re raising someone you’d actually like to hang out with – nice work!

    gnomespeak: Consider it my gift to you (because I’m cheap as hell).

    Southern (in)Sanity: Thanks 🙂

    Rassles: You sound adorable. And yet, as a mother, I get the depressed part. I’m torn.

    Xbox: Good to see you’re prepared.

    nursemyra: Cool. 😉

    mongoliangirl: You are more than welcome, anytime. Funny thing, I was just teaching her to throw up the horns this week.

  11. When my sister was pregnant people would ask her “So, what are you having?” meaning “What is the gender of the baby?” But my very literal smartass sister would just say ‘A baby.” in response and walk away.

  12. Beej: That’s good…

  13. You can dress a girl in bows, ribbons, lace and pink and they’ll still ask. You can dress a boy in blue with a badseball hat and dinosaur shoes and they will still ask. People are idiots.

  14. faemom: True dat.

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