If I Were a Boy

If I were a boy, I’d never, ever hit a girl.





if this chick:

smacked me around for trying to get my protein on, she’d stop being a girl, and I’d go close-fisted on her.


Seriously, this commercial sticks into the deepest part of my craw.  If that was a non-vegetable eating chick (that could be ME!), and some guy walked up and doofed her in the forehead, oh snap, would there be backlash.  If Grandma stopped eating her mushy peas, and a nurse conked her in the melon, telling her to drink some juice, there’d be Gray Nation outrage.  And what about broccoli hating kids getting biffed upside the head?  Some poor ad guy would be out of his job, maybe looking at punishment for depicting child abuse.

But hitting a big, dumb, lovable, idiotic MAN?  No problemo.

I’m not drinking V8.

(And not just because it’s gross.)

(Although, I admit, it’s easier to take a moral stand against the V8 people than, say, Ben & Jerry.)


9 responses to “If I Were a Boy

  1. I agree – on all counts.

    Especially about V8. Ugh.

  2. ha ha ha! Exactly! I’m especially fond of this post because you are one of a very few females I’m not sure I could handle in a dark alley. And I don’t mean feeling you up.

  3. flashbacks!

    Sweet adorable Jesus do I ever hate when people tap (or whack) me on the head.

    I mean hate.

    I mean drop whats in my hands and rip their nose and lips off with my teeth hate.

    Did you know that a simple slap to the back of the head can blind you?

  4. That concept would make an awesome commercial on SNL, don’t you think?

    The guy would take one pop on the head and give her a dirty look and the second time he would beat her to a pulp.

    Nice idea.

  5. Cardiogirl’s idea is funny that would be a good SNL skit.

    These commercial’s are just so idiotic. I’m glad you’ve brought it to the public’s attention 🙂

  6. Southern (in)sanity: I heard they were going to go with “Ugh” as their slogan. But it didn’t test well.

    mongoliangirl: Your comment inspired my new tag line, up there in the header: “I’m all talk,”

    Xbox: Why do I sense a nun, somewhere in that story?

    cardiogirl: Do we get royalties? Or at least tickets to the show?

    Vinomom: I think it’s an old commercial; they’ve just been playing the shit out of it here, recently. I can’t believe they get to keep playing it, that someone hasn’t complained.

  7. God, I hate vegetables. I always buy V8 in a ridiculous attempt to get some veggies in my system, but what happens? Lancelot drinks them. Not me.

    Maybe I should be glad I don’t now that they’re advocating abuse and all.

  8. Gypsy: I used to drink it in lieu of real vegetables, too. But I couldn’t shotgun it fast enough.

  9. I was actually just thinking about this the other day. Women hit men a LOT on TV. Jamie was always slapping Paul on Mad About You. I can’t imagine slapping my husband on the arms like she did.

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