I Say Bad Words

(Image from fakecrap)



I don’t know a lot about Tourette Syndrome.


But, from what I’ve read, having Tourette sucks.  Powerfully. 


The 2 year old and I are waiting to see her pediatrician one afternoon.  We’ve been in the waiting room for half an hour, reading books, playing I Spy, and trying not to touch anything.  (I’m not that anal – it was flu season.)


This guy comes into the waiting room.  He’s walking rapidly.  Everything about him is fast.  I’m watching him out of the corner of my eye for a couple of minutes before I realize what’s going on.  His head turns to the right every few seconds, then snaps back to center.  Then I notice he’s flipping people off.  But he’s not looking for a reaction, nor is he taking the joy in the action that I would.  It’s just a compulsion, devoid of feeling or malice.


“Cunt!  Fuckshitpussymotherfucker!  Twatgoddamn!”


I look up, and into the shocked faces of the half dozen other people in the waiting room. 


The man goes through his list 3 or 4 more times.  By that point, even the kids in the waiting room have stopped playing/picking their noses, and are staring.


All of them except mine.


My little angel barely glances at him.  Looks at the other people in the room, trying to figure out what the fuss is all about.  Shrugs, goes back to her book.


Am I raising a super-composed child?  Do we need to get her hearing checked?


Or is this a comment on what she’s become accustomed to?


(Image from Etsy)


14 responses to “I Say Bad Words

  1. That’s hy-fucking-sterical.

    Your kids will probably be more well-adjusted for it too.

  2. Hey hey hey! Way to adjust the kid! My mom was a teacher with NO room for freaking out on any glitches a person may have. Yeah, I turned out pretty glitchy myself, but able to know some amazing people in spite of their glitches.

  3. my children learned to swear in the car… and as toddlers, thankfully, that’s the only place they thought you were supposed to talk that way…

    you done good. makes ’em tough.

  4. MtnLover: I don’t know about well-adjusted. She still has to live with me, after all.

    Uphilldowndale: I’m very aware that it doesn’t always involve swearing. I included the link, because I felt a responsibility to indicate that. Perhaps I could have been more explicit. (And yes, she is cool. Cooler than I will ever be 😉 )

    Mongoliangirl: She’ll be glitchy, but in other ways, I’m sure.

    Daisyfae: And thus, I’ve begun yet another generation of car swearers. A proud, proud tradition.

  5. I’m trying really hard to clean up my language because I’m convinced that my boy is going to say ‘fuck’ at day care and cast aspersions on my parenting…

  6. My sister has a shocking mouth, I mean filth.

    When she starts off on one of her foul tirades woodland creatures run for cover.

    Four kids later, they have all become accustomed to these outbursts.

    One day, over Christmas 2007 I was there to witness her go off on a rant once again, oral filth.

    Until her 8 year old popped his head around the door and announced “Mammy, your language is f*****g brutal”.

  7. I could win awards with my swearing.

  8. FreeMan: I’m not sure why we’re in such an all-fired hurry to get them to speak. Because as soon as they can, strangers will know how you live.

    Xbox: Aaaawww! (But to be fair, whenever I picture an adorable gaggle of Irish kids, they’re always swearing. Charmingly.)

    Carla: I just spent some time on Google, and (unbelievably) there are no official venues in which to swear competitively. I believe its an idea whose time has come.

  9. Ah love it 🙂 …..but you never know, get the hearing checked, LOL

  10. Competitive swearing would be an excellent Olympic sport. And if it’s too controversial for the Olympics, I’m sure some venue in Vegas would be willing to house the antics.

    Or you could just go on “Yo Mamma.”

  11. I used to go out with a guy who had Tourettes and ADD. Sex was interesting. He’d be like “YOU DIRTY FUCKING WHORE!” Then he’d look out the window and say “Look! A robin… awww!”

  12. I’m tipping my cap to Beej.

    Why don’t folk make movies like that?

  13. GYL: Just did. She’s aces. Damn it.

    rassles: And it would be one of the not so hot hotels, on the north end of the strip. And after we’d washed our mouths out with soap, we’d van surf, up and down the strip…wait, what?

    Beej: Clearly, you need to write the screenplay. It’ll be huge in the Netherlands!!

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