Pop Quiz, Heredity Edition

“Why didn’t anyone in our family go to war?”


My 5-year old asks this, apropos of nothing, as we’re cleaning his room yesterday.


“Um, actually, your great-grandparents served in World War II.  You remember Great-Grandma?  She was a cook.  And that’s where she met Great-Grandpa.”


“Do I know this Great-Grandpa?”


“Nope.  He passed away when your dad was a baby.”


“So, does that make him my an-brother?”


“Do you mean ancestor?”


“Yeah.  Hey, do we have any incestors on your side of the family?”


Did I:


A)  Try to unravel the brother/sister/ancestor/pervert knot we’ve begun?


B)  Respond with, “Well, son, you  come from a long line of fine incestors, such as your Uncle, Cousin Jake.  Remember when you were supposed to draw your family tree for school, and it came out more like a low-lying shrub?”

C)  Yell, “OOOOWEN!!!  Your son has some QUESTIONS!  GUY stuff!”?




(Image is Lonely shrub (Revegetation) by Shutterhack)


17 responses to “Pop Quiz, Heredity Edition

  1. Haha, that is a tricky one 🙂

    Or you could have gone with D) History did not exist before you were born so we are free to make it up as we go. My son, for example, believes we are all descended from eskimos who got ran off the moon by all the “moon snow.” Someday we’re going back there…

  2. B would have been the most fun. But I’m going to guess C.

  3. Or there’s D:

    “How about these Legos . . . “

  4. I can just see if you tried A

    “Honey, it’s AN-cestors…”


    “Because that’s how you say it.”

    “But why?”

  5. D) Make up something random.

    When we were kids, my sisters and I BELIEVED that my dad was a Beach Boy…we were very young he would show us his records and say here’s Brian ( my uncle) and here’s Dennis (my dad). That side of the family is embarrassing as hell, so we were very sad to learn we not Beach Boys kids.
    Being as we could not read well, we bought it. For Years.
    My son also thought my mom was Martha Stewarts sister- an ungly story for another day.
    And a boy that my son goes to school with was convinced that his grandpa was the 5th Beatle…that one was my favorite.

  6. being a geek, i’d have gone to the whiteboard… being children of a geek? my children learned how to ignore me, however…

    lying is probably your best course of action…

  7. If the conversation moves beyond any retrievable boundaries, it is certainly time to tackle and tickle said child. At that age you can’t baffle them with bull****, they just end up remembering and repeating the most bizarre parts, usually prefaced with “My Daddy says” (or Mommy, or Caregiver, or…OK now I lost the tread of this….. OOOF, OW! dammit, I said tackle and tickle, not trip and kick in the head!

  8. Definitely C…pull this card any and every time you can!!

    I sure as hell do!

  9. My guess is C. It’s what I would do. Hilarious.

  10. HA I love kids questions.

  11. chad: Moon snow. It’s my new go-to explanation.

    cdv: You know me so well.

    tysdaddy: The kid’s a shark, he totally sniffs out a bait and switch.

    Beej: The one I get all the time is, “Well, that’s how I say it.” Like the rest of us have been pronouncing the word incorrectly the whole time. Nothing wrong with his ego.

    Miss: The Beach Boys one has had me giggling all day.

    daisyfae: I think I’d be down with the whiteboard, but the kid’s eyes glaze over whenever I actually try to explain something.

    Boomcoach: Yeah, he’s rather large for his age, and even though he’s only 5, I’m the one who ends up saying “uncle”.

    Nikki: Yeah, but I’m usually afraid of what he’ll tell the kids. Because he would definitely answer “B”.

    bluestreak: It’s how I cope. What can I say?

    Loni: Some of them are good. Some of them (Why is it Tuesday?) are not.

  12. I admit I would need D) Just have a good laugh

  13. I guess I shouldn’t tell any of my future tots that we bought them at the pet store, huh?

  14. “The one I get all the time is, “Well, that’s how I say it.” Like the rest of us have been pronouncing the word incorrectly the whole time. Nothing wrong with his ego.”

    I get that crap too. Like, obviously, it’s fine, since thats the way SHE’S been saying it, and how dare I correct her??


  15. mongoliangirl: Except he takes it REALLY personally when he thinks we’re laughing at him. Sigh.

    Em: I have a friend who used to say that when he had a kid, he would take him out, sit him in front of a tree, point at it, and say “Dog.” And so forth. Same principle.

    vinomom: Little narcissists, every one of them.

  16. This was so hilarious. I’m crying I’m laughing so hard as I’m telling my BF about it. Having 6 kids between us, we totally understand. LOL
    Thanks for sharing and giving me a hearty laugh to last the rest of the day.

  17. Thanks Ladybeams! Six kids, wow, even if I split them with someone, that’s about 4 1/2 more kids than I could handle!

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