Six Shades of Wrong

It’s cool to be a geek, now.


Everyone will tell you how angsty their teen years were, how horrible their acne was, the ways in which they were crippled by their low self-esteem.  No one would date them.  Their parents didn’t get them, they didn’t have boobs (or did, in the case of the really unlucky boys).  The teen years were hard for everyone.


(Which is bullshit, because it was only happening to me.)


In the mid-90’s, the band Wheatus released the song “Teenage Dirtbag”.  I wasn’t a teenager anymore, but I got it.  These guys made a really catchy song out of the pain that is years 12-18-ish.




But this?  This just spits in the face of every teenager EVER.



Girls Aloud, I don’t know who you are.  I can only assume you are the spawn of a soulless reality show.  But what I do know is this:  You took a song that managed to speak to my disaffected youth AND be danceable at the same time, and reduced it to a riot of chiseled abs and hair extensions.  If you prom queens are Teenage Dirtbags, what in the hell does that make those of us who really were geeks, nerds, losers, etc.?


And I know that you, doing a cover of this song, is just wrong.  Six shades of wrong.


16 responses to “Six Shades of Wrong

  1. I agree. People just sing songs to sing them not make you believe them anymore. Orginal music is gone so they just cover whatever they “think” they can sing and I hate it!!!

  2. Too true…that is possibly the worst cover I’ve ever seen. What a waste.

  3. argh – they ‘iodlized’ it!

    (They are a British band. Why or why I know this shit I know not. They have also done a cover of ‘Jump’ – Pointer Sisters. Okay. I should just stop now)

  4. urggghhhh… yuk….

    could it be they’re attempting irony?

    Say it ain’t so Ginny

  5. NO. WAY.

    We spent all of New Years Day, no joke, playing Wheatus and sitting around getting hammered and listening to that song, slurring quietly along with the words. Literally, we sat there, motionless, and just sang that song and giggled. Over and over and over again.

    And then I made everyone listen to Iron Maiden.

    But that cover bullshit is boiling. Is there anyway to lodge a formal complaint against that bitch band?

  6. two words: air strike.

    where can we find them? GPS coordinates, please. i’ve got some friends who were truly dorks and dorklettes who are now at MIT and i think we can make something happen here.

    revenge of the nerds? an electromagnetic pulse that would make them get zits, paunch and have to actually work for a freakin’ living…

  7. the frightening part is the dude sounds more feminine than the Pussycat Dolls or whatever the name of that manufactured tripe is, in fact i was working in a warehouse when that song came out and all the guys dug it cuz we thought it was about a lesbian love affair, then we saw the guy singing and our dreams were shattered.

  8. They were indeed put together as part of a reality talent show probably 5 or 6 years ago now.

    The funny thing is, that’s as good as they’ve ever looked, because they normally look like a collection of dug up corpes that where initially killed by being beaten to death with a bag of oranges.

    Except for Cheryl, she’s yummy.

    But yes, don’t touch Wheatus, it reminds me of Mena Suvari, and that is sacred.

  9. Loni: I blame the tween girls. They’ll buy anything pink and glittery.

    O.G.: I’ve seen some pretty shiteous stuff in my time. And that was some more of it.

    GYL: I’m not going to judge you for knowing that. But if you can name Justin Timberlake’s last 3 girlfriends…

    nursemyra: I think they might attempt irony, if they knew what the fuck it was.

    Rass: Sigh. Further proof we should just be married and be done with it. (The 2 year old sings it. I especially like it when she gets to the “don’t say maybe” part, cause she really MEANS it.) As to the formal complaint, I’m sure the British government is equipped with a bureau of some sort. I’ll look into it.

    daisyfae: Just a LITTLE paunch. And a nice zit between the eyes. I’m not askin’ for much, here.

    kono: DUDE! The first time I heard it, I was all, like, “Way to extend yourself, commercial radio! An angsty lesbian love song. Right ON!” And even once I saw the video, I thought maaaaybe it was just a really butchy chick with a bit of a fuzzy lip. So good to know I wasn’t alone!

    xbox: Thanks for that report, from our UK correspondent. I went to their website, and I agree, Cheryl probably has it goin’ on. You know Mena Suvari was banging a creepy old guy for years, right? Does that make it better, or worse?

  10. Eighteen flavours of kiss my ass, yo! I hate shit like that.

    I was never a disaffected youth, really. That set off in the neurotic 20’s, ha! *kneeslap, kneeslap* So I never really got any angsty Nirvana-esque type scenes. I went straight from *mumblemumble*vagueboybandnamehere*mumble* to Gn’R and Motley Crue.

    I do love Teenage Dirtbag, however, and have often fantasized about Iron Maiden related birthday gifts with obvious musical interludes. Because really, how awesome. So yeah, I kind of want to punch these chicks in the ear and go “Do you hear yourself now? Stop it!”

  11. Those “women” cannot dance. Cannot sing. Can barely walk in their oh-so-tight, oh-so-low-cut jeans and can collectively suck my big hard swinging…. Never mind. I am a lady after-all.

    *delicate cough*

    Is it me or is the tempo just a notch above narcoleptic??? When they actually manage to keep time that is???

    That said, I do wish the video for the other did not contain clips from the film “Loser” which I patently loathed. Not by choice either. I want to love anything Amy Heckerling ever does… Oh well…

    I really am a bit ashamed that I even share a hair colour with that first femmebot who, um, “sings”… Bleuch.

    I need to shower now.

  12. I know, right?

    I wish I was a lesbian.

  13. Mena shags creeps? God I love that women.

    (Cheryl looks amazing, but her accent….)

  14. Em: Excuse me, what was that? Vague boy band? Do tell… (Hey, I saw NKOTB live in ’89. I’m in no position to judge.)

    Sulya: I’ll have nothing to do with the movie. I’m kind of sad the video is based on it. Kind of like when they make a movie out of a book you want to read, and by the time you finally buy the book, it’s got Leonardo DiCaprio’s smug little face all over the cover. Sigh.

    Rassles: That’ll always be the dream…

    Xbox: You’re in, dude. You’re in.

  15. Wow. That sucked. Glad I’ve stayed away so long . . .


  16. Okay, so there was this time, where, say the Backstreet Boys were in town and I was there and whatever. And it’s okay, because unlike my mothers unwavering love of the Bay City Rollers, I now roll over laughing as Nick Carter prances around his god awful reality-tv-paid-for mansion with his head up his ass. Douchemonger, seriously.

    Anyways, Josh and I were discussing music videos, and I still stand by Backstreet’s Back (c’mon, the production was awesome, forget the “music”). And without a hint he immediately guessed “You liked the mummy character guy, didn’t you? ‘Cause that’s who I’d pick if I weren’t heterosexual.” I was impressed. In that eerie sort of way.

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