Can You Collect Frequent Flyer Miles on a Guilt Trip?

The scene:  My front yard.  Covered in 3 feet of virgin snow.  The 2 year old is contentedly making snow pies in the corner.  Such things do not amuse the 5 year old.


B:  Hey mom, I’m gonna get ya with a snowball!

Me:  Kind of wrecks it if you warn me first, but go hard.

(Doof!  Snow to the back.)

Me:  Ooh, you twerp, I’m gonna get you!

B:  (giggles, and bends over to form his own snowball)

Me:  Gotcha!

(Throw my little snowball, without looking, before I’ve stood up.  Probably should have looked.)

B:  AHHHH!!  (Runs, screaming, with a face completely full of snow.)  I can’t BREATHE!!!

Me:  (Wiping him off, making sure his mouth and nose are clear.)  Oh god!  I’m so, so sorry honey.

B:  (Stares with big eyes, says nothing.)

Me:  Are you going to be OK?  Would it make you feel better to hit me in the face with snow?

B:  No, mom.  I’d never want you to feel like this.


9 responses to “Can You Collect Frequent Flyer Miles on a Guilt Trip?

  1. OMG!
    That is too cute!

  2. hehehehehe

    It was an accident! Such things are bound to happen. We’ve all been there. I don’t think Child Protection Services will be calling anytime soon!

  3. Just as he said that, you should have shoved another handful into his mush.

    Life lesson kidlet.

  4. I’m with Xbox. Take that, smarty arty.

  5. He was just so fucking SINCERE. God damn kids.

  6. You should have pulled a “Dumb and Dumber” and repeatedly jammed his face into the snow. Either way your guilty, might as well get more miles out of it. LOL.

  7. Beej: Yeah, good idea, but therapy is REALLY expensive.

  8. Awwwwwww….. Now I feel guilty, too…

  9. jay: Worry not. The little bugger covered my front door in big, drippy globs of snow yesterday. Apparently, snow has not scarred him.

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