I Swear, Officer…

It’s 10 o’clock at night.  I’m driving the babysitter home.  She’s 13, and nice, and quiet, and this was her first time looking after our kids.


Babysitter:  Oh, by the way, your sister called while you were out.

Me:  Thanks.  Which sister?

Babysitter:  I don’t know.  How many sisters do you have?

Me:  I have 2.  The middle sister is expecting a baby.  I’m pretty excited.  By February, I’ll be either an aunt or an uncle.


Babysitter:  Um, do you mean, you’ll have a niece or a nephew?

Me:  Oh my god, did I just say that?  (embarrassed laughter)

(More silence)

Babysitter:  So, was it just a dinner you guys went to, or was it, like more of a party, with drinks and stuff…?



14 responses to “I Swear, Officer…

  1. LOL – it is okay – you shoulda got back at her with ‘Yeah, well I bet you have called one of your teachers mum, irrespective of their gender.’ (I get called mum/dad by many a teen, I think it is quite cute, especially because it comes expletive free. Unusual for a 15 year old.)

  2. Maybe it was a freudian slip … I have the number of a good gender confusion therapist.

  3. You are so not the only one that has made that mistake! Remember tho you can always blame it on the fact that those adorable little children that she just got PAID to take care of, STOLE all your brain cells when they were born. That’s been my excuse for the last 15 years!

  4. This is exactly the reason why I prefer hiring sitters that can drive or walk themselves home.

  5. That is one smart cookie of a babysitter . . .

  6. “It was one of those parties where they sacrifice nosy 13-year-olds. Maybe you should come along next time?”

  7. Um yeah, I introduced myself as someone’s brother once. Have I mentioned that I am a chick?

    It was when I was in jr high school, I meant to say that Kaz is my brother, but I totally said “I’m his brother.” Have I mentioned that the conversation was with a very very very cute older boy? Oh, and that he looked at me like I was very dumb and walked away?

  8. Haha, my reply would have been: “Well I’m particularly close to this sister, and I really want to bond with the kid, you know. I figure if I’m going to be taking the kid to baseball or whatever I might as well play the part. Don’t worry, my husband won’t mind the sex-change op. Just don’t tell him yet.”

    Of course, I get a kick out of frightened 13 year olds, so maybe that’s just me 😉 Mahahaha!

  9. GYL: That would have been a good option. Instead, I chose to remain silent, and stare straight ahead.

    billy: Cool. I’m looking to release my inner man. Because he smells bad and makes stupid decisions.

    arynsmom: “Mom Brain”. I claim it every day.

    vinomom: While I wasn’t drunk this time, whenever we did come home drunk, our old babysitter would just smile at us and go home. I miss her.

    tysdaddy: At least I know my kids probably aren’t getting a lot past her.

    PeopleInTheSun: I wonder how much it would have hurt when she opened the car door and rolled out into traffic, just to get away from me. Probably a lot.

    Beej: Well of COURSE it was a cute boy. That’s the way of the universe.

    Em: One teenage babysitter? $7/hr. One who’s cool hearing about your gender reassignment surgery? Priceless.

  10. LOL Nothing brings you down a peg like being corrected by a thriteen year old

  11. Did you tell her your verbal misstep was just the result of your giddy exhaustion of having an evening away from your children? That or all the crack you guys smoked.

  12. faemom: Well, being brought down by a 5 year old ain’t exactly good for the ego, either….

    formerlyfun: And then I should have asked her for more crack. And when she looked horrified, said I was just kidding, but made it clear from the look in my eyes that I was Not Kidding.

  13. That was funny. I thought you were just giving her a taste of your sense of humor, until the SECOND moment of awkward silence. Don’t worry. One day, she too will suffer from “Mom Brain”.

  14. jay: I try not to put innocent 13 year olds through my sense of humor. They aren’t generally equipped for it.

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