Life Is Mysterious, Vol. 314

How is it that I:



Am a mother of 2 beautiful children

Volunteer at my son’s school

Hold open doors behind me for strangers

Pay taxes

Am devoid of visible piercings or tattoos

Lack a mohawk or a pink dye job

And, generally, come across as a respectable sort,



Yet all it takes is one cold sore



To make me a skanky, skanky ho-bag?


20 responses to “Life Is Mysterious, Vol. 314

  1. It’s because cold sores are evil.

  2. Once, a teacher refused to mark my best friend’s work because she had a cold sore and didn’t wanna touch her paper. Charmning.

    I once had the tiniest glimmer of a nose stud in an otherwise very respectable appearance and ppl were so judgemental. Sucked.

  3. I’ve never had a cold sore – but I used to get the most horrendous cankersores – same thing only inside your mouth.

    I don’t associate coldsores w/ skanky hoes. I really don’t. My best friend gets them all the time. Of course, she IS a skanky hoe, but thats beside the point.

  4. Ummmm, Ginny, I think that is in your own mind.

    Seriously, I think we live in a day where people know that cold sores are not a result of being a skanky ho.

    Well, at least I know that.

    So at the very least, one person living in the boondocks in Wisconsin does not think you are skanky.

    Miss–sportin’ a HUGE tattoo on her leg and yet…not skanky either.

  5. Nature’s own little tramp stamp. LOL.

  6. A cold sore can make you a ho-bag, and an Everest sized zit can reduce me to a petulant teenager that just finished a chocolate binge.

    When I have a big zit (bump on chin, I am talking to you) it makes me feel like I cannot and will not be taken seriously. By anyone. Ever. Until it heals (and then there are other reasons for people to not take me seriously–for example, my habit of ending conference calls at work with “OK Peeps, that’s all I’ve got for today. Rock on with your bad selves.”)

    I had a giant zit on my forehead, that of course I messed with and rendered it into a gigantic open sore on my forehead, and I had some asshole at work ask me “What’s with the red dot on your forehead? Are you Indian?” Guh!

  7. MissMeliss: Satan’s calling card, all right 😉

    GYL: I’m thinking of getting my nose pierced. Do you recommend a stud or a ring?

    vinomom: See? The evidence speaks for itself 😉

    Miss: I’M KIDDING!!! Actually, it made me think of that bit from South Park, where they hear that the town prostitute has a “mouthful of herpes” and they pay her to come to their house and lick stuff, so their parents will get herpes. (If you’ve never seen that episode, that doesn’t sound very funny, does it?)

    Kitty: I am what I am. (hee hee)

    Beej: Can I get in on your next conference call?

    mkh: See, you know how it goes down, on the street, yo.

  8. Tramp Stamp!! Haaaa ha Kitty. Too funny…sorry Ginny, it is what it is.

  9. So you wanna up the ante on the skank-metre? Well if you are gonna go hard-core, might as well go the ring 😉 reminds me of a bull though. Small studs can be nice.

  10. went to a mixed-gender adult entertainment establishment in new orleans years ago… the guy that we all now refer to as Mr. Freakishly Enormous apparently had a gigantic cold sore on his lip. i didn’t notice. seriously…

  11. Nice! I once told someone (my tattoo artist actually, how appropos) that an embarassing pimple on my lip was a coldsore, when in fact I was just particularly greasy. I thought he was cute and wanted him to think that I had been afflicted by the cold, not by my apparent inability to wash my face. Soooo, yeah. That didn’t work out very well. Well done, Emerald. Well done indeed.

    Speaking of which, have you seen Spinal Tap? You’ve seen Spinal Tap. The scene where they’re going over the music video in the all girl school? “Oh an ALL girl school, I thought you said a TALL girl school. Well now it makes sense. Go! Make our video! Run with it! Run, like a small boy in the fields!” With the herpes all over their faces? Priceless.

  12. Joan: Sigh, I know, can’t argue with it.

    GYL: Was thinking of a very delicate silver ring on one side. But I’m pretty sure you have to start with the stud, no?

    daisyfae: You were focused on his personality. He was a nice guy. Misunderstood, even.

    Em: There’s virtually no circumstance that CAN’T be enhanced with a Spinal Tap reference. I truly believe that. Interesting choice, skankiness versus bad hygeine.

  13. Ha! Trollop!

    Does that mean that my old, old aunt is also a ho? Damn. I need to get out more.

  14. Oh well just look at the big herpes infested head on you!

  15. Captain: Like you didn’t already know about your aunt’s ho-ish-ness. Please.

    Xbox: Mmm hmm, that’s right.

  16. they do make any respectable person look like a diseased slut. I HATE cold sores.

  17. bluestreak: Fuck putting money into research for erectile dysfunction drugs – we need to cure cold sores!

  18. When I get these, I just want to hide until it goes away, when I can then become a disease-free member of society. At least outwardly.

  19. It’s so stupid; I’ve had cold sores since I was 6. I was not skanky at 6. And yet, I can’t shake the stigma. Damn it.

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