Let’s Examine The Evidence

Exhibit A:

My Christmas tree is still up.  Fully decorated.  Everyone around me has taken their tree down.

Exhibit B:

The Ukrainian Orthodox religion uses the Julian Calendar, while the rest of the world uses the Gregorian.  This puts them 14 days behind most of the world.

Exhibit C:

If you’re Ukrainian, tomorrow is Christmas Eve.

Exhibit D:

My maternal grandmother is 1/4 Ukrainian.  At least.  (Maybe more; she was adopted, and the records of her ancestry are a bit murky.)


I’m not lazy, I’m Ukrainian!


Z Rizdvom Khrystovym, everybody!



15 responses to “Let’s Examine The Evidence

  1. Uhm yeah, that thing you said.

  2. When I’m too lazy to get fully dressed and just wear my long house robe and muck boots to do the first horse feeding of the day I pretend it’s just my Mongolian heritage coming out.

  3. Does that mean my credit card payments aren’t really late?

  4. If you are in fact 1/4 ukranian then wouldn’t you only be one quarter or 14 days behind (i.e. 3.5 days behind) and therefore still late on taking your tree down.

    The prosecution rests!

  5. We never got around to putting our tree up, which either makes us more or less lazy depending on when you looked in our living room.

  6. formerlyfun: I have a friend who actually can speak it. She got married in the Ukrainian Orthodox church. It was stuff like that, said loudly, for 3 hours. In August. With no air conditioning.

    mongoliangirl: Uncle Genghis would be proud.

    tysdaddy: Depends. How Ukrainian are you?

    O.G.: Shiiiiiit. You’re good.

    Meagan: Or Jewish.

  7. No way. I live in Ukrainian Village.

    I should Wednesday off by default, and not just because it’s the day after my birthday.

  8. My tree’s still up and I’m taking one day’s grace period on it, too. Same reason as Rassles.

  9. If you believe my Mother-in-Law, it’s bad luck to take your tree down before January 6. If that makes you feel any better…

  10. Rock on with your Ukranian self!

    Though in my family we always dug the trees out a the Christmas tree farms. We’d haul this heavy ass tree, roots and soil into the house, plop it into a wooden box my dad constructed for this purpose, and feed the tree pitcher upon pitcher of water from December until April.

    We kept the tree in the house until April. We undecorated it. It just sat in the front window, roots and soil in it’s wooden box. Then when the ground thawed outside we would haul the thing out and re-plant it in the lawn.

    We ended up with a shitload of pine trees in our lawn over the years. And I never wanted to have friends over between January and April.

  11. Does this mean I still have a chance to return the kettle I got the wife for Christmas?

  12. I couldn’ t take my tree down fast enough, and get Christmas out of my life for another year. Now, it just reminds me of spending too much time with the damn in-laws. I won’t be asking ‘when they will visit next’ any time soon!!!

  13. I’m only a quarter Jewish. So maybe.

  14. Rassles: Really? You’re surrounded by them? How many perogies can you eat in one sitting?

    Kitty: Cool.


    Free Man: On principle, I try not to be on the same side as anyone’s mother-in-law (unbelievably tricky to pull off), but in this case, since she agrees with me, she sounds like an incredibly intelligent and probably somewhat attractive woman.

    Beej: My husband threatened to do that. Especially last year, when he put the tree out for garbage collection. He placed it in a snow bank, and they didn’t realize it was garbage. And he wondered if he could save it. So now we know.

    Xbox: You got her a KETTLE?? You’re lucky she HAS to have sex with you.

    Gigi: Haha! I had a “road” Christmas; no unwanted house guests (at least not for me. The people we visited are probably feeling more like you.)

    Meagan: Tee hee. Menorahs are so much more stylish. Maybe I’ll convert.

  15. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

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