Me: I got an email from R this morning. She got those tickets.
O: (blank stare)
Me: For “The Vagina Monologues”.
O: (starts to look worried) Tickets for you and…..?
Me: For you. For us. Remember, at T’s (R’s husband) birthday dinner? You said you’d go?
O: No way. I did not say that.
Me: Yes you did. You said if T was going, you’d go.
O: I didn’t think it was serious. I don’t want to go.
Me: Yes you do. It’s a night out.
O: (silence, as he accepts his fate)
Me: Come on, it’s about vaginas. You straight guys are supposed to be all over that.
O: Fine. I’ll go. But I think it’s wrong that people will be talking about vaginas for 2 hours, and sex is going to be the LAST thing on my mind. What if I can’t think about vaginas sexually ever again?
Me: You watched me give birth. You even tell strangers about it. If that didn’t wreck it for you…
O: Yeah but that was cool, the way it just opened….(starts to make large, obscene gestures with his hands)
Me: You’re so fucking weird.