Boys (Or, When Did I Become a Dirty Old Woman?)

Maybe it’s because we’ve been sick.

 

Maybe getting ready for Christmas kicked my ass, more than I thought.

 

Maybe it’s because my birthday is coming up in just over a month.

 

Whatever it is, I’m really feeling my age.  And then some.

 

At the same time, the guys who’ve been turning my head lately are getting…..younger.

 

How young? 

 

Like, they were all born the year I was in Grade 6.  Like, I could have babysat them.  Like, I could probably hang out with their moms.

 

 

My kids love the show “Drake & Josh“.  Mommy just loves Drake & Josh (no quotation marks required).

Both born in 1986.  In the earlier episodes, they’re kids.  No danger there.  But now, they’re Men.  And I likey.

 

I thought the movie “Transformers” was going to be stupid.  Kind of was, but in an awesome way.  And who didn’t want to hug that adorable little pseudo-nerd, Shia LaBoeuf?

All good, until I stop and realize he was born on June 11, 1986.  I was going on summer vacation, looking forward to junior high.  He was in a maternity ward.  Yeah.

 

Finally, that adorable little vampire, Robert Pattinson, also born in 1986.

So what if “Twilight” wasn’t, um, the BEST movie ever?  So what if his vampire make-up looked like he fell face-first into a vat of cold cream, and then lip-first into an adjacent vat of red lipstick?  He’ll do.

 

I know, I know.  They’re all adults.  All perfectly legal.

 

But why do I still feel, just a little, like a dirty old woman?

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19 responses to “Boys (Or, When Did I Become a Dirty Old Woman?)

  1. If you feel like a dirty old woman, imagine how Demi Moore feels? (Hmm, I am guessing she is feeling a hot, younger man)

    I reckon over 20 is fair perving game. IMDB Nicholas Hoult from ‘About A Boy’. He is turing into a fine young man, however he is under my perving age-limit 😉

    Gotta admit though, the first lot of kids I ever taught are all 22 now. So sometimes I come over all icky.

  2. Over 18 = Okay. Us guys do it with girls all the time…Although at 28, I’d never date an 20 year old, they are fun to look at. As long as you’re not a high school teacher you should be okay

  3. Ummmm…I see nothing wrong with this. I think on some level they want us too. One word…cougars.
    I have a horrible story about going out with friends and someone brought along our local douche bag weather man…he is 26 and referred to a “cougar’ he met. When asked how old said ‘cougar’ was he responded “Middle aged, like 35”
    He is lucky he walked out with both legs in tact.

  4. You’re such a fucking cougar.

  5. Boys boys boys. I will always love boys. Until they talk. I don’t like them when they talk. I just like it when they don’t talk and I can watch. And then I usually lean over to a girlfriend of mine and say, “That one there? Give me 48 hours alone with him and I will mess up his enTIRE universe.”

  6. Because you ARE a dirty little birdy. Oh, except for Shia LeBouf, I could LeBouf him ALL DAY LONG.

  7. When I was twenty, I dated someone my age(35) and at the time it certainly seemed like we related well to each other. Me? I can’t imagine dating a twenty year old now, I mean especially cause I think my hubs would have a problem with it.

  8. since my singleness a few years back, i have only dated one quasi-boytoy (8 years younger than me). since he was a card carrying nerdboy (perfect score on the SAT) i decided that disqualified me for “couger”.

    the pretty young things you refer to? they’d have to come with their own ball gag… i’m with mongolian girl. fun to look at, but i really don’t give a flying fuck what’s on their mind, what they want out of life, or how bitchin’ their sk8board is going to be when the get the custom trucks and bearings…

  9. I hear ya. I’ve been doing it the last few years. It doesn’t help that every single male my age is married and I am surrounded by 22-year-olds at work.

    I know it’s cool to be a cougar these days, but man, I don’t know how anyone dates a 22-year-old. I dated a 28-year-old when I was 20 and after me he swore he’d never date younger again. Now I understand why!

  10. One cannot forget that being compared to a large carnivorous feral cat who tends to attack from behind (or is that mountain lions???) means that it’s more than just about age difference. It’s about costume (sleek, sexy, dangerous, perhaps a little over the top) intention, manner and follow-through.

    You have to mean it and want it and, as many of the smart women here have said, not give a flying fuck what the man/boy has to say.

    Window shopping is not what cougars do.

    Additionally I now know no less than three women who have either had, or are having, beautiful, sexy, loving & passionate relationships with much younger men. Lasting & committed and interesting. They care (or cared, it was she who ended it after 15 yrs) very much what these guys have/had to say.

    As always, me thinks it’s about personality and fit and not so much about age but rationalization is powerful stuff and where are my new high heels again???

  11. GYL: Good. Point. From now on, when I’m feeling like a perv, I’ll just invoke the name of Ste. Demi, Patron Saint of Cougars of Questionable Morals.

    O.G.: You’re right. It’s all about context.

    Miss: What’s NOT to want? We’re way more interesting, and we have more money. If I was a young guy, I’d be all over me. (Wow, I think I may have crossed some sort of line, there.)

    Rassles: Thank you? FYI, your turn is coming, toots.

    mongoliangirl: I call it Keanu Reeves Syndrome. “Shhh. You shouldn’t talk, honey. You’re pretty.”

    formerlyfun: Thanks for not soft peddling it. I really am. (did you seriously just make LaBoeuf a verb? Nicely done)
    And how do you KNOW hubs would have a problem? Have you specifically asked him?

    daisyfae: Yeah, it all falls apart at the relationship stage. Because as awesome as I am at them, I don’t want to play beer pong EVERY Saturday. (Just alternate Saturdays).

    Jennifer: I’ve never had more than a year of age difference, which is probably why the whole thing seems extra exotic. But yeah, in practice, I do NOT have the patience.

    Sulya: Hmmm. I’m not predatory, but I can see the potential to get there. Waaaay in the future, but I can still see it. And a cougar would never wear those shoes; they’d totally impede the hunt.

  12. I would totally let Evan Rachel Wood massage my aging calf muscles. I’d even let her talk . . .

    And now that her and Mr. Warner are splitsville, I might have a shot . . .

  13. Are you kidding me? I sat watching High School Musical 3 and couldn’t take my eyes of that lead guy nor could my friend. Both of us are in our 40’s and when this kid was born we were graduating from COLLEGE!

  14. I’m with Jessica on this. Every time you said 1986, I kept thinking the year I graduated college…. Now I feel SO OLD… Thanks a lot, Ginny!

  15. tysdaddy: Even after Marilyn Manson’s been…um…there? You’re a brave, brave man.

    Jessica: Always good to see I’m not alone. I love the internet. All you have to do is expose your own personal brand of kink, and like-minded pervs come out of the woodwork 😉

    writinggb: Sorry 😉

  16. LMAO!!! The boys were on a Drake and Josh kick last summer. I’m SO GLAD to find out I’m not the only perverted Mom who was checking out Josh in the newer episodes … and LIKING what I saw!!!!

    “What do you MEAN Drake and Josh isn’t on anymore?!?!?! Let me call the cable company and see if we need another kids package …”

    Such a sad, sad parental example I am …. 😉

  17. Shia LeBeouf is hot. I don’t care that I’m 6 years older. Freakin’ hot.

  18. Can I ever relate. I just turned 32. Yesterday.

    When I was home, I was talking with one of my good friends, a university profesor and he said, “guess what year the incoming freshman were born? 1990”. And I had to do the math cause I couldn’t believe it was true.

    Oh, and I have this bad habit every time my husband and I go anywhere, if we happen into a bar that is kind of a younger crowd I ask, “Honey, do you think they are our age?” And then he gives me a weird look as if he’s surprised by his own wife’s delusions and asks, “Are you serious?” I guess I think we’re hotter looking than we are.

  19. Kim: I’m so glad you said that. Even my 2 year old has a crush on Josh. My husband just shakes his head, and says “That’s your girl..”

    gnomespeak: 6 years is not that creepy. I don’t think.

    bluestreak: We were at a dinner the other night, and it came out that the other people at the table were in their early 20’s. They were all saying their ages, and I leaned over to Owen and said “Just keep drinking, honey.” This girl says “Oh no, you guys act WAY younger than you are.” How fucking old do we look????

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