On the Trail of the Albino Vagina

Today’s post is addressed to one person in particular.


I’m sorry, sir/ma’am.  I don’t know your name.  But you’re here a lot.  Almost daily.


You get here by using the search term “albino vagina”.


Since we’ve not been properly introduced, I can only guess at what it is that you’re actually looking for.


Perhaps you’re not familiar with the “Bookmark” function in your browser, and the only way you know to get back here every day is to type that curious little phrase into google.  But I’m not conceited enough to believe that’s the answer.  I want to help you in your quest, I really do.  Here’s what I’ve come up with:


Perhaps you’re dating a paler lass.  An “albino”, if you will.  She’s not “giving up the play”, as the kids say.  But you’re curious, as to the nature of what she’s got going on down there, with her lady business.  Well, according to the “experts” at WikiAnswers, the vagina of an albino would indeed be pink, like the insides of their mouths. 


Or, maybe you’re a musician.  And you feel like all the good band names have been taken.  Whilst high in your mom’s basement, you and your buddies came up with “Albino Vagina”.  It does, indeed, rock.  You’re not quite ready to go public with it yet, but you like to troll the internet, making sure no one else takes it.  So far, so good.  The Canonical List of Weird Band Names confirms that no one beat you to the punch.  But you’d better step lively, because someone’s already used “Albino Toilet Boys”. 


Finally, your search sounded a little like you’re looking for some kind of creature, perhaps a wild animal.  Here in Canada, we had a delightful series for this purpose, called “Hinterland Who’s Who.”  Here’s the closest I could come:

Hope that helps.  Godspeed, sir/madam!


23 responses to “On the Trail of the Albino Vagina

  1. Ginny, I think I love you a little bit more every day. This is a piece of humor heaven!

  2. (how do you always know about my search terms?)

  3. If I had a band, I would name it Concussion Monkey or Boxed Meat.

    Patent pending, patent pending, patent pending.

    Could Abino Vagina also be some sort of Moby Dick sister-book?

  4. Rassles was using those terms too? Seriously, it’s like I’m looking in the mirror.

  5. . . .

    I’m speechless . . .

  6. Beaver almost disappeared from Canada due to over-trapping?


    Okay, I feel 13 again. Thanks.

  7. Jesus H. Christ…if that isn’t the funniest thing ever!

  8. –“I want to show you this blog I found. You’ll like it.”
    –“Can you email me the link?”
    –“Well, the problem is that I don’t remember the name of the blog. Best bet is to do what I always do and just Google Albino Vagina.”

    Hey, we’ve all been there.

  9. mongo: Oh my! Are you buttering me up for something?

    Rassles: Well, you’re a little obvious, dear.

    Em: Boxed Meat. So good. And when they come to my town, I will push my way backstage, snottily insisting that I know the band, so back the fuck off. Can’t wait!

    mtnlover: I don’t want to be friends with anyone who doesn’t have more than a touch of a 13 year old’s sense of humor.

    tysdaddy: That happens, every now and again. Just sit down, have a glass of water, you’ll be OK.

    nikki: Why thank you!

    PeopleintheSun: Hmm. You seem to have a pretty detailed explanation for this. Odd.

  10. Sigh. You get all the good ones. Mine are ‘fairly’ normal.

  11. hilarious! does sledpress read your blog? she dated an albino man for a while….


  12. LOL, Ginny I love what you did with that. You’re so consistently funny.

  13. Angelina & Brad picking out baby names again…

  14. I am laughing. Laughing so very hard.
    I am off to Google you now.

  15. Aaah, for the day when my blog can be accessed by such arcane search terms!

  16. Albino Vagina would be a good band name.

    Back when my oldest started playing bass and was thinking about starting his own band, I came up with the perfect name…

    Weiners Without Buns

    Where that came from I don’t know, but it is a perpetual joke.

    I haven’t logged in to see what weird googles people are doing to find my blog these days.

  17. *snort* **giggle** ***guffaw*** Have to send the link to friends…must…click…now….

  18. I wish with all the brazilian waxing I do that I had an albino vagina story, but alas, I do not.

  19. my favorite search term this week?

    bestiality pms trailer

    i have no idea why…. but i don’t get that one every day…

  20. This is almost as weird as the revelation that someone got to my blog via a search for hotspanking.com.

    I have never written anything that dwelt on spanking.

    But as Nursemyra mentioned, I did have an albino boyfriend, for five years in fact, and everything that you would expect to be pink is, well, pink (for the edification of the Mystery Searcher, mutatis mutandis), in fact the whole guy looks sort of pink when he is between you and a strong light, with the additional charm that being working-class Italian this guy was blooming and blossoming with a curly pelt that caught the light like angel hair on an overdressed Christmas tree. To see him standing nekkid in front of the fridge on a midnight raid was a surreal and wonderful sight.

  21. GYL: I also get some pretty disturbing ones. They’re bad.

    nurse: She does now…

    Kitty: You make me blush, consistently.

    Xbox: Actors should be legally prohibited from naming their own children.

    Miss: It worked, didn’t it?

    Boomcoach: Just keep at it, my friend, and you’ll be attracting your very own perverts.

    Sue: “Weiners Without Buns”. Awesome. I think they’d be kind of emo-y.

    Sarah: And they’ll tell 2 friends…and they’ll tell 2 friends…and so on, and so on…

    formerlyfun: You’re in CA. Can there BE albinos in CA?

    daisyfae: What anyone does in their own trailer after tea time is their own business.

    sled: Welcome! I saw the picture. You’re an adventurous chick.

  22. Bluestreak: Hey, I’m just trying to educate the people. I’m all about helping.

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