I Heart The Recession


You know what I love about this recession?


(No, wait, hear me out.  I’m not drunk.  Yet.)


I love the way the paradigm has already shifted.


Last year (when we were in a recession but didn’t know it yet), we were all out there, buying an obscene amount of crap.  Because we could.  Because everyone else was.  Because it felt good.  And if you pulled a Linus, railed against commercialism?  You just looked kind of…cheap.


This year, the carts are half-empty.  My tree, and many others, are virtually uncluttered by presents.


And the guy who hasn’t caught on?  Who doesn’t accept that we’re in financial doo-doo?  Who’s racking up the Visa bill to make his kids love him?


Now, he looks like the turbo-douche.


22 responses to “I Heart The Recession

  1. Oy vey…I’ve looked “kind of cheap” my entire life. Because I’m a fiscal conservative? Tightwad? Thrifty gal? Uuuuh, no. ‘Cause I’ve always figured I’d spray machine gun fire if I went to the mall this time of year.

  2. malls are for people who can’t use the internet while home, surfing in their underoos and drinking wine out of a box at 2am.

    “conspicuous consumption” is out! The new scarlet letters are “CC”…. which stands for “canadian club”, which will also get me shopping on the internet… a conspiracy?

  3. I know I’m the asshole who still overspent this year. I can’t help it. I did cut back some. And now two days before Christmas I’m panicking feeling like I didn’t get enough.

    At least it’s in the spirit of giving! I can’t wait to see my spoiled brat’s face on Christmas Eve/Morning.

  4. We’ve always tied our gifts into the “reason for the season” — each kid gets 3. And we’ve always been broke or near to broke around the holidays, so we’ve never spent all that much. We’re sad that this year we have to spend even less, but we’re thankful all the kids will be over and that we will have our traditional Christmas dinner. the company and the food, they are the important things.

  5. No, see, the best part about the recession is that everything is on sale right now, so you SHOULD spend.

    Fucking wonderful. I love recessions.

    No one looks at me weird when I say I can’t afford shit anymore, no one wonders why I’m broke, because they all are too.

    I don’t know what I’m going to do when the recession is over. Go back to still being broke and jealous, prolly.

  6. I’ll tell you why I love the recession. Ordinarily today I would be sitting here ready to drop on December 23rd cause I would have spent the last two months working 90 hour weeks to haul all the crap everyone was buying to the stores.

    This year November and December have been like a danged vacation! And you know how lazy I am and all…

  7. I love it, too!

    I’m a Scrooge when it comes to the holidays….regardless of the financial crisis…the national one and our personal one!

    If it were up to me…I’d say F#@! Christmas! It’s morphed into this ginormous, ugly, commercial carnival…a race, a competition…it’s disgusting, really!

  8. Recessions bring better musicians too.


  9. I know. My partner went shopping last night, December 23, and I laughed at her hubris. But she came home and said that the shops were nearly empty. Either people are much more organized – unlikely – or they’ve finally copped on that maybe it’s not necessary to try and buy love.

  10. That Christmas tree is sick, man, SICK. I love it! LOL.

  11. I am cheap every year too, it’s Christmas not Christ-mass. It’s a rare gift from someone I actually like, I can’t stand all the stuff, stuff floating around you don’t need, didn’t want. I’d rather work less and have less stuff. Hubs and I got the kids each 1 present from us, one from Santa and something small for each other. I already know he got me planters for my vegetable garden(see even my gift screams recession since I’m working on my own food supply).

    turbo douche? perfect description, ah the shopocolypse

  12. Merry (barely making it happen) Christmas, Ginny! 😀

  13. We made the trek into town last night and I couldn’t believe that there were parking places available at our local outdoor mall. Perhaps the shitty weather helped, but it’s been this way for weeks.

    I battle the urge to spend my last dollar on my kids. Not because I’m trying to buy their love, but because I feel guilty about not being around as much as I was once. Not having any money helps, I guess . . .

    On an unrelated note . . .

    I just wanted to tell you what a pleasure it’s been meeting you through your blog this year. You always make me think, generally always get me to smile, and, being a softy, I cry a lot at your words as well. You are the total package, my friend. And it’s an honor to know you. Happy holidays to you and yours and may your new year be filled with chocolate chips and joy unspeakable . . .

  14. Ginny, my long lost daughter of the quill:

    Here’s hoping you have the best of holidays and I seriously want for you to find all the happiness and stability (in every sense of the word) in 2009. That’s my wish for all of us. May your smile always find you in the coming months.

    Stay loquacious and brilliant.

    Joy to all things Canadian,

  15. mongo: I’ve been trying to be this way; the recession is the push I needed.

    daisyfae: Yay for the interwebs. Got me out of a few jams.

    vinomom: Bet it was worth it!

    domynoe: Welcome! At the heart of it all, I’m pretty sure that’s what my kids enjoy the most.

    Rassles: I don’t think we have to worry about it ending for a while.

    hedon: I’m going to guess you deserved the break.

    nikki: I always thought X-mas should be like the Olympics: once every 4 years, and in a foreign country.

    xbox: Such as?

    Free Man: I know which one I’m hoping for.

    Kitty: I never thought it was such a bad little tree.

    formerlyfun: shopocolypse. Nicely done, my friend.

    Peter: Thanks, man!

    tysdaddy: You are too kind. I, too, have enjoyed meeting you this year. This blog has been such a great experience!

    mkh: There is, but you need to send me $29.95 before I’ll tell you…

    Miss Laurie! Merry Christmas to you too, toots! I actually had breakfast with Texans, this morning, at my hotel. I thought of you. Hope 2009 kicks figurative ass for you, too, dear!

  16. sick, new slang for great, kick ass, rocks….

    Sick, I say, that tree is sick.

    Hey you won the DVD thing!

  17. Turbo-Douche! Awesome. Sounds like a new Mattell toy. For, you know, recession times.

  18. Em: I think K-Tel would sell them, actually. Along with the Pocket Fisherman and the Smokeless Ashtray. For $12.95, plus shipping & handling.

  19. i love that minimalist xmas tree. it’s so fitting.

  20. oh and i also loved not being considered a cheapskate this xmas!

  21. bluestreak: Yup. We all sat around, congratulating ourselves for not going overboard. It was sweet.

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