Missing Persons Case: An Update

At approximately 9:30 am MST, Joseph, resident of the 1500 block of Nazareth, was located.

He was found, lying face-up, in a pink, fuzzy purse, labeled “Princess”.



He was tired, dehydrated, and disoriented, but otherwise unharmed.

He has since been returned to his perch on the advent calendar.

His wife Mary, had this to say:  “What the hell were you thinking?  I’m gonna pop this kid out any minute, I’m sleeping in a god-damn barn, and you abandon me?  Don’t even get me started on the 3 Wise Guys over there; Balthazar’s been staring at my chest all night.  Eyes up here, dude, or I’ll smite your ass so hard….where was I?  Oh yeah, Joseph.  So when the chips are down, you go hide out in a purse like some punk-ass bitch…you look at me when I’m talking to you…”


Was Joseph the victim of a toddler’s abduction and subsequent loss of memory?  Was he making a break for it?  No one knows for sure.  And Joseph’s not talking.

12 responses to “Missing Persons Case: An Update

  1. Ahhh… blasphemous humor. Thanks, this had me giggling for several minutes. 🙂

  2. ahhh… he’d wandered off for a little bi-curious adventure. he’s gonna need to claim that someone slipped a roofie in his Myrrh-tini or there’ll be hell to pay.

  3. Holy Shit Ginny! THAT was FUNNY!

  4. Joe was layin’ out.

  5. YOU try livin with a Saint! Ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. Ask my husband.

  6. Jose was caught trying to make it over the border I reckon…

  7. Meagan: It’s the only kind of humor I really, truly love.

    derfina: Well, there’d been rumors about him and the little drummer boy. A little pa-rump-a-pum-pum in the back of the barn, if you know what I mean.

    daisyfae: Myrrh-tini. That’s AWESOME.

    Kim: Why thank you (I’m bowing, but you can’t see it.)

    Kitty: word.

    Writinggb: I did. He didn’t know what the hell I was talking about. (I’m kidding, I’m kidding…)

    xbox: Almost made it, too. Poor bastard.

  8. Wouldn’t it be brilliant if a Texan border guard actually did shoot the saviour’s step-dad?

  9. You KNOW it would be a Texan. There’s a beautiful symmetry to the whole thing. A more talented writer (like, not me) could write a really great short story based on that…

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