1. I stop snickering when introduced to men named Dick. Or Peter.
2. I start buying Kashi cereal, and bypass the Chocolate Lucky Charms.
3. I can actually fold a fitted sheet, instead of stretching it out, attempting to fold it, then giving up, mashing it into a ball and shoving it into a closet.
4. I can have more than 3 people over for dinner, and provide them all with matching flatware.
5. I buy a certain bottle of liquor because it is a quality brand, not because I get a free pack of cards/shot glass/keychain with purchase.
6. THIS stops being funny: