Only 8 More Sleeps, Sarah


Please consider, if you will, the plight of poor, poor Sarah Palin.

A year ago, you (probably) didn’t know she existed. She was just another lipstick-wearing, God-fearing, moose-hunting hockey mom. Oh sure, she was the Governor of her state. But it was Alaska, so no one really cared.


Now, a landslide of shit is aimed in her direction. She never knows when that bitch Katie Couric is going to spring out from behind a tree, surprising her with “Gotcha!” questions. Late night talk show hosts are poking fun at the fact that Sexy Sarah’s going to be a grandma. At 44. That uppity, smart-mouth Tina Fey is doing an impression of her every Saturday.


Things are tough.


And now, the wardrobe flap. It has been estimated that the Republican Party has spent $150,000 to clothe Sarah and her family. To make them “presentable” for the public. People are in an uproar. A fracas. A right tizzy. $150,000 is a whole lotta green, when the economy’s headed straight for the pooper. How dare they?


John McCain is defending the expenditure. He says it’s justified. The GOP is circling the wagons around their (former) pageant princess. Most of the skewering is coming from seemingly liberal sources.


And that’s what I don’t get.


I think the $150,000 is money well spent. I say it’s probably not enough. She bought those clothes in New York. Why not fly her to Milan, Paris, London, to shop designers? Fly her on a private jet with everyone in her Alaskan constituency for company. Could Sarah be driving a fancier car? Mercedes for everyone! Her and her skidoo-driving husband, kids, grandkid and daughter’s baby-daddy are going to need a big ‘ol house in the lower 48; what can we find in the $400 million range?


Because every dollar they piss away on Sarah Palin’s sweater sets, is a dollar they aren’t spending on ugly attack ads.


Money well spent, G.O.P.




30 responses to “Only 8 More Sleeps, Sarah

  1. Hmmm…. I hadn’t thought of it that way. That’s awesome.

    Though I think I’d be pissed if I was an RNC donor and my money went to that. Hell, I would have dressed myself instead of her, you know?

  2. Amen, sister. If I were her, I’d be milking it for all the groovy shoes I could even THINK of wearing. And it’s all being auctioned off or something for charities when it’s all over, so she’s not only getting the boner of wearing the shoes, but gets to look all charitable and democratic at the same time.

  3. Geez, talk about a plot with a twist. But you’re correct of course.
    I love it when someone pulls a gem out of that pile of other stuff and holds it up where everyone can see it.

  4. Beej: Thanks. And yeah, if I paid $1000 for a plate of rubber chicken, and she took that $1000 and bought half a pair of pants with it, I’d be pretty whizzed, too.

    derfina: Good point. Stock up now. Sure, they might question why she charged 14 parkas to wear on the campaign trail. But she’ll be set for the next 10 years up in Alaska.

    mysterioso: That’s me, the eternal optimist, finding the silver lining 😉

  5. I’m waiting for the moment she does the Charlie’s Angels/Mission Impossible mask pull-off and we all find out it’s Ross Perot.

  6. This Devil's Workday

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but surely they could’ve said they were simply trying to inject money back into the ailing economy? Spending is good for the economy! Especially right now!

  7. You crack me up twisted devil girl.

  8. Sleep well, gov. I’ll pay for your ticket back to Alaska to watch for Russkis.

  9. This Devil's Workday

    I’m a man, man.

  10. Delightful. 🙂

  11. I think I love you.

  12. Dude. I KNOW I love you.

  13. Fashion Paramedic: Ross Perot might be a welcome substitution. At least he LOOKS as crazy as he is.

    Devil’s Workday: The Republican Party’s spin people called. When can you start?

    Max: Thanks. Twisted Devil Girl. I think I’ll sign the Christmas cards that way this year, “Seasons Greetings from Twisted Devil Girl and her Minions.”

    FreeMan: Oh sure, she’s watching the pinko commies, but I can’t get over the feeling that, as a Canadian, she’s always looking down at me.

    Pearl: Thanks 🙂

    mongoliangirl & Maria: Wanna arm wrestle over who loves me more? Come on, we could make some serious coin here. Think on it, ladies…

  14. Sarah Palin has no business running anything more complicated than a faucet.

    Even then, I wouldn’t trust her around my sink.

  15. And I’ll take on Mongo and Maria. Start selling tickets.

  16. With the economy being what it is these days, and with the money rolling in and filling the Republican campaign coffers, is $150,000 really that big a deal?

    Face it, marketing is everything in a political campaign. And if the ads aren’t getting it done, and the debates made the whole thing resemble a whale flopping on the beach, then why not put some green toward dolling up the one thing that makes the Republican side of the situation tolerable. After all, it’s only temporary . . .

  17. Ginny. I wouldn’t do that to Maria. She looks pretty little and I could probably snap her in half with just one twitch of my Mongoliangirl thighs.
    Plus…anyone who loves you too should not be snapped in half, but loved. And fed well ’cause, like a said, she looks pretty little.

  18. You’d think with all that money they could buy her more than a red blazer. I keep expecting her to start selling houses.

  19. so true.

    GOP doesn´t know it´s head from its ass right now, which is GREAT.

  20. rassles: I know there’s a Joe the Plumber joke in there. But I’m just too tired to extract it.

    tysdaddy: Agreed. Say what you will about her, she has been something pretty and shiny for the Republicans to look at.

    Mongo: That just makes it all the more exciting, for those of us watching.

    Em: I was pretty shocked when they parted out one of her outfits. I could have put the same thing together at Sears for a couple grand less. Whatever.

    bluestreak: I hope that’s true. McCain et. al. frighten me.

  21. A deer jumped in front of my car today and for a second I thought it was a moose. And then I remembered that moose don’t live in Tennessee. They live in Alaska. I call it the Palin Effect.

  22. I think they should have spent more, too. She looks like she’s channelling Nancy Regan, circa 1983.

  23. Nah, I’m looking for Uncle Joe Biden to be the comedic relief. He’s like the uncle at the family reunion that makes you go “Oh geez!”

    “Please Uncle Joe, get down off the table. No really, will you put the bathrobe on?”

    “I know Uncle Joe, will you stop making those ratta tatta tat sounds.”

    Tail Gunner Joe was someone else back in World War II.

  24. I know Ginny. I know. It would absolutely be exciting to watch. But that whole wrestling in Jell-O thing is so in my past now. I’m just not sure I’m up for going back.
    And…I see you up there Rassles. Don’t make me twitch my Mongoliangirl thigh and snap you in half!

  25. I kill you til your dead, bitch. I swat you like a fly.

  26. Sorry Ginny. Me and Mongo’s got words.

  27. hereinfranklin: The Palin Effect. That sounds so made up. Kind of like that “Global Warming” stuff.

    Allen: I wonder if Joe Biden ever sulks, because he’s so left out. You’re right though; I can see him pulling some major middle-child shizz, to get attention.

    Mongo & rass: When I started this blog, I thought “If I can only start a chick fight between 2 fellow bloggers, I will have achieved what I set out to do.” My life is complete.

  28. Ginny. See? Rassles can’t even say that confusing ‘I’ll kill you til your dead’ crap without apologizing. I would have NO apologies. That means I’m doing a better job of making your life complete. However…I’m not going to be able to take it all the way (ie actually snap her in half) ’cause, like I said, I’m just not in the mood to go back. Maybe the goal could be amended to just send Rass and I to DC should that caribou killer actually be elected?

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