What’s This, Then?

 

That? Oh, that’s the soapy residue left behind when my bubble burst.

 

In my backyard, there is a tree. Or rather, my backyard is a tree. A 40 foot spruce, that litters my yard with pine cones and blocks all sunlight to a patch of the neighbor’s prized lawn. Every time there is a serious gust of wind, I know the tree is going to come through my bedroom window. The tree must go.

 

My husband, Owen, has been doing some work for an arborist. (No, not that one.) They’ve worked out a deal, to trade tree care for plumbing. The arborist came over to assess the situation. I didn’t know he was coming; I just looked out the window one morning and saw my husband talking to a stranger.

 

And then the stranger turned around.

 

Oh. Holy. Shit.

 

This guy was gorgeous. Uncomfortably so. Hot in a manly man kind of way. In an “I fix shit and I’m strong and the wattage of my smile powers small nations” way. If he’s not already, he ought to be in one of those hot firemen calendars, but not the oiled-up-waxed-chest-we’re-actually-aiming-at-gay-guys-but-thanks-for-your-interest calendars.

 

Wow.

 

I am in the middle of making lunch/getting the boy’s school snack ready/pulling my fighting kids apart. I curse my lack of shower (or tooth brushing) (or hair brushing) (Never stop by my house without calling first). Clearly I am in no condition to go outside. So I stay in the kitchen, hoping neither the arborist nor my husband notices my trance-like staring.

 

The arborist leaves, Owen comes into the house.

 

“So, that’s the tree guy?”

 

“Yeah, he says he can probably do it…”

 

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME HE WAS FREAKIN’ HOT?”

 

“You think he’s good looking?” Owen smiles.

 

“Um, YEAH!?!”

 

“Hmm.” Then his smile gets a little bigger.

 

“You think he’s hot, you should see his wife.”

 

 

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27 responses to “What’s This, Then?

  1. haha… that’s a good husbandly comeback

  2. Good couple Ginny & Owen! Good couple! A testament to the fact that we are…”Married, not dead!”
    Hope Owen fills you in on the tree removal date so you can brush your teeth.

  3. LOL that’s a good one….

  4. Bwahahaha! I think Owen and Bill are related. It’s the same sort of retort that Bill would throw back at me.

  5. Wait, you’re the unclean housewife in the window? I’m the wife of a hot arborist.

    Seriously? You are the only person who is not an arborist that has two separate blog articles about arborists. You blow my mind.

    Arborist.

  6. Awwwwwww, SNAP! Your man is on his game! Tell him some chick from Toronto he’s never met but who sent you a scarf says “hi fives!” 😀

  7. Damn those beautiful couples!

  8. Oh that is so wrong.

  9. Nursemyra: I prefer “You’re right, dear”, but that was pretty good.

    Kitty: It DID hurt. Thank you for noticing.

    Mongoliangirl: Really, I should quit being so lazy and take care of my damn self instead of sitting around with a cup of coffee for the first hour and a half I’m awake.

    Vinomom & Sue: Owen appreciates your laughter. Really, he does.

    Rassles: We live in an old neighborhood, with a lot of big old trees, so arborists are pretty common. But yes, it is freaky. Just one of the many freaky things I have to accept about myself.

    Emerald: He gladly accepts your high five.

    GiGi: ONE good looking person per couple is enough. Really, you’d think there’d be a law concerning this.

    Max: I’ve chosen to get over it, and let the fantasy continue. I stand by that decision.

  10. Ya, well, the arborist hasn’t seen you on a good day…yet!!!

  11. I am totally for the fantasy. Yay!

  12. I really admire your and your husband’s sense of humor. Honesty mixed with quick wit must keep the laughs coming in your house. Kudos to you both!!!

  13. I love LOVE this kind of bantor!!

    Here’s to hoping you don’t have a naughty dream about him. Then you’ll REALLY have a hard time being in his presence. That happened to me once with a bartender friend of mine. I had a *NAUGHTY* dream about him the night before I was supposed to go to his restaurant and hang out with some friends. I was so embarrassed to be around him that I could barely look him in the eye. AND, it didn’t take long for one of my friends to figure out what was wrong with me and TELL HIM.

  14. Katie: (blush) Thank you!

    Mysterioso: I hope I’m having a VERY good hair day when he drops by the next time.

    Max: I appreciate your continued support.

    jay3arr: We do laugh a lot. Thank god, or we’d probably kill each other.

    FashionParamedic: Well, NOW I’m going to dream about him. Jeesh, way to jinx me! (Oy, I’m sorry about your bartender experience. What a delightfully uncomfortable way to spend an evening!)

  15. I think you need a second opinion. When will he be back over? You have my number.

  16. Frankly I think the temptation here is a danger to your marriage. Fortunately for you, I am a giver so will throw myself on my sword here next time he is over just wave a cross and chloroform around until temptation and he collapse then stuff him in a box and ship him to my address.

    [I hope you know I would not do this for just anyone Ginny.]

  17. ohhhh, that’s just not right! 🙂

  18. Fuck! I had such hope, too. Why is it everyone else has hot handymen and all I get are old nasty potbellied ones?

  19. Tara: Because if one woman staring at him from inside the house isn’t obvious enough, maybe 2 women would be OK. I’ll call you.

    Max: You are a giver, and a true friend. I’m getting a little teary over here. Talk amongst yourself. Here, I’ll give you a topic. Ginny is neither a drink nor a board game. Discuss.

    Gina: All I can hope for is another shot.

    Captain: It is both a gift, and a curse. (Maybe you could try specifying next time you call a handyman company: No uggos.)

  20. Pingback: max saves ginny’s marriage « celluloid blonde

  21. Doy. Ginny is a Dolly.

  22. I heart hot fixers. I have had one, and made such a complete ass out of myself (reverted to my gawky, giggly 15 YO self, as a matter of fact) that the follow-up was very difficult.

    Your hubby and mine should talk. They have the same comebacks.

  23. Pwned by the hubby!

  24. Stil: Like a noob, baby. Like a noob. (OK, I have no IDEA what any of that shit means. Please pretend I’m cool.)

    Lovey: Thankfully, when they came back, it wasn’t the hot guy. Because there is no telling what kind of idiocy I would have engaged in.

  25. Pingback: return to max saves ginny’s marriage « celluloid blonde

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