I am grateful.
Grateful for every hit this blog gets. Grateful that anyone would read what I spew out twice (maybe three times, if I don’t sleep) weekly. Like every disreputable dive, I’ve got some regulars. Every now and again, some poor sucker’s Google search lands them here. They open the door a crack, letting in a shaft of sunlight. The googlers (yes Max I know that’s not a word…yet) either recoil in horror, realizing this place is not for them, or they feel like they’re finally home and settle in. My favorite terms that brought the people in, lately:
See, I’m not the only one who heard it like that! Ah, validation: you’re almost 30 years late, but it’s good to see you.
Ten bucks says this is a reality show on Fox by next fall.
You kinky buggers! If you think the flawless Pippa is going to let that shit leak to the interwebs, you don’t know Pippa.
What kind of problem, exactly? Can’t get the seal to “burp” anymore? Or was someone looking for help with their rabid Tupperware addiction? “Can you just spot me the Classic Bowl Set, and the Amazing Marinade Carry-All till next week? Swear to god, I’m good for it, man. Come on, I need this shit…”
Admitting it is the first step. Hiding the knives is the second.
And finally, my fave:
I’m sorry you didn’t find what you were looking for here; carry on, my wayward sons!
(Image borrowed from here.)