Memes Blow!

 

 

But it’s what you’re getting today. Kind of like when your mom tells you you’re having leftovers: You panic a little, then you start calling all your friends, to see what they’re having for dinner (once again, I direct your attention to the blogroll on your right). Sometimes, you’re too lazy for that, so you stay on the couch, and think, “Meh, what’s one more night of tuna casserole?” And sometimes, the tuna casserole isn’t half bad. Bon appetit, kids.

 

What I Was Doing 10 Years Ago

 

Picture it: Saskatchewan, 1998 (Sorry, just having a Sofia Petrillo moment there.)

O and I had married in April. (There was no honeymoon.) I was doing admin work for my father-in-law, the town’s accountant. I was living in a trailer, teeth-grindingly envious of the double-wide down the block. Driving my first car, an ’88 Mustang hatchback. Thinking I should probably have some kids (everyone in town our age was on their second kid by then), but damned if I just didn’t feel like it. None of my friends or family lived anywhere near me.  

 

Five Things on My To-Do List Today

1.  Bake something (Done. 4 dozen gingerbread cookies. Wanted to make chocolate chip, but someone ate all the chocolate chips. And then put the bag, with 3 chips left in it, back in the freezer. Arse.)

2.  Mark Maria as being “On Hiatus” on my blogroll. (Hours after I did it, she decided to start up again. How DO you solve a problem like Maria?) (Glad you’re back, kiddo!)

3.  Keep on keeping the secret I’m keeping. (I suck at this kind of thing. I find it physically painful. But so far, so good.)

4.  Invite myself to someone’s house for dinner this weekend. (Mission accomplished!)

5.  Figure out where #1 son got the phrase “Well, it beats ditch digging!” from. (Maybe I don’t want to know. I’ll just continue to be amused by it.)

 

Things I Would Do If I Was a Billionaire

I would pay someone gobs of money to isolate the chemicals in the brain responsible for patience. Then I would have those chemicals synthesized, and shoot myself in the ass with a mega dose. Because I am sorely lacking right now.

 

Three of My Bad Habits

 

(Quirks, bad habits; tomaato, tomahto)

I bite my nails (sometimes while telling my son not to bite his).

I don’t return phone calls in a timely manner.

I keep people’s Tupperware,

and hope they’ll forget about it.

 

Five Jobs I’ve Had

 

Flag girl on a road paving crew (I went home at the end of the first day with blisters over my entire face, after standing on blacktop, in the sun, with no sunscreen. Brilliant.).

 

Worked in a deli department in a grocery store

(I sliced part of my left pinkie off in the meat slicer at the end of my first shift).

 

Waitress in a Chinese restaurant (It was the kind of place where old people left you a dollar as a tip. And expected you to gush over it).

 

Complaints Consultant at the Better Business Bureau (What I learned there: that people 1) don’t like to read contracts, and 2) are allergic to responsibility).

 

Salesperson at a clothing store (I was plus-sized, the clothes in the store weren’t. It worked about as well as you think it did.)

 

Five Books I’ve Recently Read

 

Consumption by Kevin Patterson.

About a girl from the Northwest Territories, who goes south to be treated for tuberculosis, then tries to return to the tundra. Wow. Picked it up on a Saturday morning, absolutely could not stop till I finished it Sunday night. I dream of writing this book.

 

The Ladies Lending Library by Janice Kulyk Keefer. A bunch of first generation Canadian women go to the beach for the summer. Mayhem ensues. I thought it was going to be pure chick-lit. Instead, pleasantly surprised by complex characters and writing that managed to be concise and descriptive at the same time.

 

The Alchemist by Paulo Cohelo. Well, there’s 4 hours I’m not gonna get back. “But Julia Roberts liked it! Julia. Roberts!” Uh, yeah, that’s great…

 

Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali. Fascinated by the memoir part that makes up the first ¾ of the book; the last ¼ of the book was pure politics and seemed tacked on.

 

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro. Over time, went from “Meh” to “Hmmm…”

 

 

Consider yourself tagged, if you’re into that kind of thing.

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18 responses to “Memes Blow!

  1. Oh good, a quiz. To make it fun to be awake right now. I think I only have energy enough for the book part.

    Five books:

    The Polysyllabic Spree – Nick Hornby – collection of his monthly columns on what he’s reading. He gets a column, we get this. But I like his writing a lot better than mine, so, fair.

    The Titan’s Curse – Rick Riordan (Young Adult )- pretty fun tale of Greek gods & teenage heroes, neglected my children to finish it.

    The Penderwicks – Jeanne Birdsall (YA again) – light summer tale, supposed to be reminiscent of books the author (& I) loved as a kid by Noel Streatfield & Edward Eager. Not quite, but okay.

    An Unsuitable Job for a Woman – P.D. James – listened to this one as an audio book, so does that count? Nice to ‘read’ a British murder mystery complete with all the right accents.

    Mistress of Spices – Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni – pretty basic tale of Indian magic, love, etc, etc, set in San Francisco. Not really recommended…

    PS – Feel free to share those cookies, cookie. (Whoa, that must be the insomnia talking.)

  2. I have been wanting to read Infidel. Thanks for the short review . . .

    I’ve never done a meme . . . and probably won’t.

    Happy Wednesday!

  3. Not into it at all – but thoroughly enjoyed reading yours! I have so much friggin tupperware that I believe I might just suffer from the same tendancy as you!
    http://www.winingandironing.wordpress.com

  4. Tara: When in the hell do you sleep??? Thanks for the book reviews; I forgot that once upon a time I meant to read that Nick Hornby book. Thanks for the reminder. And the cookies? By this morning, they went from chewy to crispy. Gingersnaps are finicky bitches.

    Brian: I am by NO means qualified to review books. I’m the one at book club, silently saying “Oh THAT’S what the book was about! I did NOT get that!” One of the redeeming qualities of memes is that they can be like prompts. I may revisit the chopping off part of my finger story…

    Wendy: Welcome! You know you have a problem when the Tupperware you’re still hoarding is gold, brown, avocado, or rust colored. And has someone else’s last name written on the bottom in Sharpie.

  5. LOL! Sorry!! 🙂

    I’m sorry about your pinky. And your tupperware problem. And blistered face. Ow.

  6. Wow, Maria. When you gather all the evidence up like that, I am a bit of a mess, aren’t I?

  7. First, very mean to say you have a secret and not tell, unless you’re building suspense.

    Second, I am glad I am not the only tupperware thief. When I go over to other people’s house, I bring a big Sharpie and write my name on their tupperware when they’re not looking. Then later, when we’re cleaing up, I say, “Oh, I must have left this here last time.” and I pile up all their Tupperware and take it home.

    Third,I read the Alchemist because a friend said it was ‘life-changing’, yeah, life-changing in that it almost turned me into a non’reader. Meh, indeed.

  8. Holy cats, you sliced off a finger???

  9. Not the whole finger! Just the side of it, up to the first knuckle. They reattached it, too. For about 5 years, I just looked a little Frankenstein-ish. Now, you’d hardly notice.

  10. In my first real job, at Weinstock’s department store in the lingerie section, I stapled my thumb. Went all the way in. I know it’s not slicing off part of my finger, but the thought still makes me cringe.

    I’ll take your tag challenge and respond tomorrow on my site. Just posted something else now, though: “The Rebel Jesus and … Al Gore?” I think the blogger responsible for naming her blog Praying to Darwin might like to take a look. 🙂

  11. Formerly Fun: You and I could never work the same potluck circuit; there’s not enough Tupperware in North America for our insatiable appetites.

    WritingGB: Staples freak me out too. In elementary school, some of the boys got ahold of the teacher’s stapler and were purposely stapling themselves. I still haven’t recovered.

  12. In a totally unrelated comment to the post at hand —

    “Go on now go, walk out the door, don’t turn around now, ’cause you’re not welcome any more — weren’t you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye, you think I’d crumble, you think I’d lay down and die — oh no not I, I will survive —- ”

    I owed you that. You put some painfully annoying song in my head many weeks ago and I felt that returning the favor would be a polite and just thing to do.

    Carry on……

  13. Dear AJ:

    Bitch.

    Love, Ginny

    (PS: Your photos are hystrerically beautiful. I’ve blogrolled you. I do hope that’s OK).

  14. It’s possible that I love you and we should be married.

    I’m not sure yet, but it looks likely.

  15. Chick: I’ve blogrolled you. If that doesn’t say love, I don’t know what does. 😉

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