An Open Letter to the Coen Brothers

Dear Joel & Ethan:

Congratulations on your Oscars!  I’ve just finished watching the ceremony, and I’m sure you’re very proud of your nice gold statues.  I haven’t actually seen “No Country for Old Men”, but I’ve heard wonderful things about it.

I was especially interested in the looks on your faces when the “Best Picture” Oscar was announced.  You were still backstage, fresh from your “Best Director” win.  Your names were announced.  And your faces.  Did they light up?  Did you laugh, smile, look surprised?  Nope.

You looked like someone told you there was tuna casserole for supper.  Nothing.  Nada.  You even looked like the walk back to the stage was a bit of an inconvenience.

I realize this was not your first Oscar.  It wasn’t even your first Oscar tonight.  And I realize you each had to share it with your brother.  I have siblings; I know how it is.  But still…

I don’t expect a Roberto Begnini, a Cuba Gooding Jr., or even a Julia Roberts every single time an Oscar is handed out.  While I enjoy these displays (I like my Oscar winners the same way I like my men – grateful), I get that some people are a little more reserved.  But damn, it looked like someone should hold a mirror under your noses to see if you were still breathing!  You just won a Best Picture Oscar!!!  This is as good as its gonna get!  I guaran-fricking-tee you, if I ever win an Oscar, be it my first or my tenth, I will full-on lose my shit.  There will be maniacal laughter, there will be tears.  I will thank every nice person I ever met, I may even break out in a celebratory jig.  Because that’s how big a deal this really is.

On behalf of those of us who will never get closer to an Oscar than having a family member with that name, can you please, please, please be a little more engaged next time?

Thanking you in advance,


11 responses to “An Open Letter to the Coen Brothers

  1. I am not by nature a religious woman, but I will simply say:


  2. They shared the expression of a goldfish admiring a strip of delicately decorated floral wallpaper.

  3. Sulya, that may be the closest to religious fervor I’ve ever seen you get (lol).

    Great image, aj. Especially since they also looked like they would forget about the whole thing in 30 seconds, much like their goldfish brethern.

  4. LOL AJ.

    I was wondering when they were going to whip out the air gun and whack off the announcer.

  5. You don’t understand. That WAS their excited look. Imagine what they’re like the rest of the time. *nod*

  6. Wow, awalkabout. If that’s true, then let’s all pity poor, poor Frances McDormand….

  7. Ginny you crack me up.

  8. I do what I can, max. I just do what I can…

  9. Miss Ginny,

    I was suffering from the flu the night of the Oscars. And I don’t mean suffering in a Jewish mother kind of a way, I mean **really** suffereing. 103 degree fever, aches and pains, congestion, malaise…the works.

    I went in and out of lucidity all night long but remained mentally in tact long enough to watch the same pair of cavalier brothers win top honors.

    Your post hit the nail on the head and was clever as well.

    Be grateful. Show gratitude. Your movie, Brothers Coen was simply the the least bad our of a rather benign group of movies this year. If you want me to continue to shell out nine or ten dollars a pop to see one of your opuses…that cinematicially speaking, just aren’t that pretty as a rule, then show a little emotion. Emote….fawn over a third grade teacher who made you believe in yourselves….utter a boy scout leader’s name….ruin a little mascara.

    This was my first visit to your blog. I very much liked what I saw and I’ll be back.


  10. Ahhh Laurie I must disagree – No Country was a glorious cinematic achievement, their best work thus far. But, not for everyone.

    This is my first visit too – via Laurie – and I like! 🙂

    I didn’t watch the Oscars, but I’d assume I’d be just as annoyed at their lack of enthusiasm as you. Graciousness is not something that should abandoned with achievement, age, wealth or a big johnson.

  11. How do I go about instructing wordpress to automatically approve any comment containing the phrase “big johnson”? (And not just because it makes the stats go craaazaaaay…)

    Welcome, Maria!

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