Dear Joel & Ethan:
Congratulations on your Oscars! I’ve just finished watching the ceremony, and I’m sure you’re very proud of your nice gold statues. I haven’t actually seen “No Country for Old Men”, but I’ve heard wonderful things about it.
I was especially interested in the looks on your faces when the “Best Picture” Oscar was announced. You were still backstage, fresh from your “Best Director” win. Your names were announced. And your faces. Did they light up? Did you laugh, smile, look surprised? Nope.
You looked like someone told you there was tuna casserole for supper. Nothing. Nada. You even looked like the walk back to the stage was a bit of an inconvenience.
I realize this was not your first Oscar. It wasn’t even your first Oscar tonight. And I realize you each had to share it with your brother. I have siblings; I know how it is. But still…
I don’t expect a Roberto Begnini, a Cuba Gooding Jr., or even a Julia Roberts every single time an Oscar is handed out. While I enjoy these displays (I like my Oscar winners the same way I like my men – grateful), I get that some people are a little more reserved. But damn, it looked like someone should hold a mirror under your noses to see if you were still breathing! You just won a Best Picture Oscar!!! This is as good as its gonna get! I guaran-fricking-tee you, if I ever win an Oscar, be it my first or my tenth, I will full-on lose my shit. There will be maniacal laughter, there will be tears. I will thank every nice person I ever met, I may even break out in a celebratory jig. Because that’s how big a deal this really is.
On behalf of those of us who will never get closer to an Oscar than having a family member with that name, can you please, please, please be a little more engaged next time?
Thanking you in advance,