Top 10 Pick Up Lines for Use on Stay at Home Moms

(with mad thanks to Sulya for forgiving my blatant theft of an idea)

  1. Oh yeah, Halle Berry is pretty all right. But you can tell SHE hasn’t had 2 kids.

  2. Stretch marks are so…heroic. In a sexy, Amazon, kind of way.

  3. The way you hid carrots in that meal, so that your kids would get their daily recommended amount of vitamin C…HOT!

  4. Right then, when you were all stretched out trying to wipe the spit-up off the back of the couch, you looked like a 16 year old gymnast.

  5. It must be so frustrating for you to have to talk at a 1 year old’s level all day. You sit down and tell me EVERY adult thought you had, but just couldn’t share.

  6. You did HOW many loads of laundry today? Sit the hell down, I’m making you a drink!

  7. I’m making you a drink!

  8. Well, if I had to guess, I’d say you were 25. You must have had those kids when you were really young!

  9. I don’t really find makeup or combed hair all that attractive, anyway.

  10. I have a full tank of gas, I’ve hired a sitter, and no one will miss us for at least 4 hours. Let’s haul ass to Mexico, baby!


3 responses to “Top 10 Pick Up Lines for Use on Stay at Home Moms

  1. Add the 11th, which I guess is so very popular
    I love kids…Why dont you go and rest. I will take care of the kids 🙂

  2. These are hilarious!

  3. Yeah, hilarious in a “I’m crying and I hope it’s because I’m laughing so hard, but probably not” kind of way…Thanks Kitty.

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