You’ve probably heard of this before (starting a conversation without self-deprecation was considered a sin in my household), but a fun way to piss away time is type your own name followed by the word “is” into a search engine, and see what comes up. A sampling of mine:
Ginny is Harry’s love interest (PLEASE let it be Prince Harry! Mama needs several new pairs of shoes)
Ginny is fourteen years old (You couldn’t pay me enough. An entire year of low self esteem, mean girls, crippling self loathing, and this one huge zit on my chin that would not fuck off!)
Ginny is a painted lash strung doll from 1953 (A what now?)
Ginny is interviewed by KHNL Channel 8’s MORNING SHOW anchor Angela Keen (I think I would have remembered that. Plus, I know it’s not me because it happened in the morning. Not exactly my time to shine. But I’m not a night person either. I think I’m good for about a half hour sometime after 2 o’clock…)
Ginny is eating well (Today’s breakfast: the crusts deemed not fit for human consumption by a 4 year old. Lunch: a sad, cold leftover hot dog. Supper: A piece of string cheese and some wilted lettuce. You be the judge)
Ginny is a native of Albany , New York (Nope, Big Stone, Alberta, actually. Look for it on a map. I defy you to find it.)
Ginny’s is another one of the North Burnett DIVE bars (COOL!!)
Ginny is Awesome (’bout damn time!)
Ginny is dead (no, I just sleep really heavily. A chambermaid almost made that mistake once).
Ginny is also an internationally-recognized speaker and workshop leader (All in good time, my friends. All in good time).
Ginny is less predictable: she’s a dedicated “holy roller,” (Wow, way off! The religious kids all told me I was going to hell when I was 5. Well, DUH!)
Ginny is very knowledgeable and will be accommodating in any way possible (Turns out I’m opening a brothel…)
Ginny is smart, sassy and brimming with confidence (2 out of 3 aint bad).