Ginny is…

You’ve probably heard of this before (starting a conversation without self-deprecation was considered a sin in my household), but a fun way to piss away time is type your own name followed by the word “is” into a search engine, and see what comes up.  A sampling of mine:

Ginny is Harry’s love interest (PLEASE let it be Prince Harry!  Mama needs several new pairs of shoes)

Ginny is fourteen years old  (You couldn’t pay me enough.  An entire year of low self esteem, mean girls, crippling self loathing, and this one huge zit on my chin that would not fuck off!)

Ginny is a painted lash strung doll from 1953 (A what now?)

Ginny is interviewed by KHNL Channel 8’s MORNING SHOW anchor Angela Keen  (I think I would have remembered that.  Plus, I know it’s not me because it happened in the morning.  Not exactly my time to shine.  But I’m not a night person either.  I think I’m good for about a half hour sometime after 2 o’clock…)

Ginny is eating well  (Today’s breakfast:  the crusts deemed not fit for human consumption by a 4 year old.  Lunch:  a sad, cold leftover hot dog.  Supper:  A piece of string cheese and some wilted lettuce.  You be the judge)

Ginny is a native of Albany , New York (Nope, Big Stone, Alberta, actually.  Look for it on a map.  I defy you to find it.)

Ginny’s is another one of the North Burnett DIVE bars (COOL!!)

Ginny is Awesome (’bout damn time!)

Ginny is dead (no, I just sleep really heavily.  A chambermaid almost made that mistake once).

Ginny is also an internationally-recognized speaker and workshop leader (All in good time, my friends.  All in good time).

Ginny is less predictable: she’s a dedicated “holy roller,”  (Wow, way off!  The religious kids all told me I was going to hell when I was 5.  Well, DUH!)

Ginny is very knowledgeable and will be accommodating in any way possible (Turns out I’m opening a brothel…)

Ginny is smart, sassy and brimming with confidence (2 out of 3 aint bad).


6 responses to “Ginny is…

  1. You look up ‘sulya’ and the first thing is that I am a town in India. The second most common thing is that I am a “salon” in Spain I think… Salon Sulya.

    There was some inclement weather in the town of “Sulya” some time back and when people asked me how I was that day I answered “My cows are flooded, how are you?”.

  2. Incidentally – your lunch was especially hilarious – nothing like the emotional lives of hot dogs to crack me up. I remember not so long ago when a good meal was eating Cheerios off of my son’s lap.

  3. “My cows are flooded, how are you?”.
    Too freakin funny. And knowing your deep relationship to cows, especially sad…

  4. You want a deep relationship to cows – talk to Jameela…

  5. Ginny is…..goddamned funny. Ginny should…. do stand-up
    Which I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy… so sorry. I delight in your sense of humour. It must have something to do with the family requirement of self-deprecation.

    I won’t even try to do a Bronna is. It would be even worse than a Sulya is.

  6. Bronna you are too kind. Stand up, like surgery, is best left to the professionals and the heavily medicated.

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