8 Random Facts

I am totally stealing this idea from Sulya’s blog, but I believe she borrowed it from someone else.  What is the saying about how there are no new ideas?

Anyway, I thought it was an interesting exercise for the writer (moi) and hopefully not too tedious a read.

8 Random Facts About Me:

1.  When I was in elementary school, I had to cut a deal with the librarian in order to read above my grade level.  There was a set aisle of books for students from grade 4 to grade 6.  By October of grade 4, I’d made it through all the ones that didn’t insult my intelligence (what a snob!).  And this accomplishment is not that great – our entire school, K-12, never topped out at more than 200 kids.  At any rate, I needed to get my hands on the books for older kids.  The librarian flat out refused at first.  She said if I could prove I’d read everything, she’d consider it.  She picked a book at random, and made me tell her what it was about.  Luckily, I’d read the same jacket blurb she was using to test me, and my point was made.  I got to check out the junior high books.  But I hid them under sweaters and behind other books, so as not to appear “uppity”.

2.  I freakin’ love saltines and margarine.  Sounds gross, I know.  But nothing makes me happier than a container of soft spread and a sleeve of crackers.

3.  I lack the ability to either burp or whistle.  I’ve tried to acquire these skills, but you either have them, or you don’t.  The burping is the one I wish I had the most.  I’ve had to leave parties where I’ve been drinking beer, not because I’m drunk, but because I’m so damn uncomfortable I can’t sit there anymore.  Fun.

4.  I learned how to mix a rye coke press when I was 7.  The friends my parents hung out with didn’t have kids my age.  Also, they were a bunch of raging alcoholics.  The adults found it a little creepy when I sat with them, hearing the conversations (possibly remembering them, which they themselves would not).  And telling me to go away required enforcement, which they were not willing to do.  So my mom’s friend Carol taught me to mix the perfect rye coke press, her drink of choice.  Of course, when you teach an over-achiever a new skill, she’s going to want to show it off.  Carol was falling off a chair drunk by ten o’clock.

5.  My family was convinced I was dead for about 2 hours.  I had taken a walk on our farm.  I started out walking down the road, then veered off into one of our pastures.  I was out there until past dark, but I was on our land, and I wasn’t scared.  Apparently, my dad had looked out at a point when a vehicle slowed down on the stretch of road he had last seen me on.  Then the vehicle sped away, and he didn’t see me there.  Being the rational, calm guy he is, he became convinced I had been abducted, called every neighbor in a 10 mile radius, and set out to look for me.  I wandered in, not knowing any of this had happened.  “Oh my god, we thought you were dead!”, my sister screamed, throwing herself at me into a sloppy, tearful hug.  I then had to call every neighbor in a 10 mile radius back, apologize for my wing-nut parents (they all commiserated.  Apparently crazy is a pretty obvious thing to people who aren’t in the family).

6.  I can stick my shoulder blades way out.  They can look almost like creepy demon wings.  I can literally hook them over the backs of chairs.  I have been eyeing up my son’s shoulder blades lately.  I think he might be the same.  Grossed out and proud all at the same time.

7.  I once lived in a condo development for 3 years where no one knew my name.  The neighbors knew me to see me, but were convinced that my husband Owen & I were actually named Cindy and Warren.  After about a year, I realized it was too late to say “actually, my name is Ginny…”  so I just went with it.  We used to think about committing some kind of crime in front of these people.  When the police asked who did it, they’d all say “It was Warren and Cindy, officer”.  And we, Owen & Ginny, would just sit back and laugh hysterically…

8.  I can tell you all the Prime Minsters of Canada, in order.  Same goes for the books of the New Testament.  People rail against rote memorization as a learning tool, but without it, I have no party tricks.


6 responses to “8 Random Facts

  1. Try this ethnic version of saltines and margarine.

    Matzoh, soft sweet butter, and salt. My grandmother used chicken fat which she rendered from the skin, and salt.

    But maybe best of all is to dampen the matzoh and sprinkle it generously with salt. This is the lo-fat version.

  2. Ooh, sounds good! Except for the chicken fat. Anytime the word “rendered” is in a description of food..

  3. I am glad to have read all of these but for some reason, in my current mood, which is fuzzy & blueish, this one totally cracked me up and saved the moment.

    “… nothing makes me happier than a container of soft spread and a sleeve of crackers.”

    In other worlds this is a fifth of scotch and a packet of smokes – or its similarly alchoholic like – but picturing you with your saltines (which they do not sell in England, I feel I must add) and your tub of margerine is perfect – like a superhero with her power-snack…

  4. “Luckily, I’d read the same jacket blurb she was using to test me, and my point was made.” That is hillarious. I used that trick too. Actually I used most of those tricks except the demon chair monster shoulder blades.

  5. “We used to think about committing some kind of crime in front of these people. When the police asked who did it, they’d all say ‘It was Warren and Cindy, officer’.”

    Brilliant. Sometimes I love miscommunication.

  6. I thought I was the only one who did saltine and butter. Mmmm!!!! They are sooo good!

    A picture of number six would be funny.

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